The FanFic Critic's Apprentices
by Chicken-Wings93
Summary: Fifth Chapter: All seems normal and then...
1. Prologue: Human, Human, Duck

From Three Magic Users, A Magical Duck, and a Loverboy to Fan Fiction Critics: FanFicCritic's Apprentices Prologue

* * *

Sae Sawanoguchi, Takeo Takakura, and Ayanojo Aburatsubo were taking a visit to a town known as Goldcrown. There was a ballet academy of the same name, but it was shut down; The building was demolished and replaced with an average private institute for college students (in the European sense, but American and Japanese students also learn in this Germanic atmosphere, as the oldest students in the school.)

Goldcrown University was their new home. At least for now. Takeo and Aburatsubo are both college sophomores now. Sae is a college freshman. Takeo and Aburatsubo are now 19, while Sae is 18. They were both adults and it felt weird when the students that were native in Goldcrown are actually of age to be high school students back in Japan. Then again, in Europe, you graduate high school when you're only 14.

Sae was able to pass an exam that would have made her enroll here too. Sae may be a klutz but she was far from an idiot. In fact, Sae was book smart. Street-wise? Well, that's a whole other story entirely.

Sae bumped into some kids the first day of school. They weren't picking on this boy, but Sae was curious as to why they surrounded him. That's when she realized the kids were of the opposite sex to the white haired boy.

"Did you just bump Mytho!", a stuck up girl with blonde locks hissed.

"Hey Lilie! Leave her be! She's probably lost!", the only normal girl... At least, normal in Sae's eyes, yelped defensively.

"Oh Duck! You're so concerned. How about while we talk more with Mytho..."

Then Sae heard foot steps, but it sounded strange. They weren't human at all.

"While you introduce the new girl to Femio!"

The girls ran off, pushing Mytho the opposite direction.

"F-fe-Femio?!", Sae shivered. She was worried he was either the class bully, or the token nerdy kid.

"Don't be scared. He may be... eccentric, but he's a pretty nice guy once you deal with his... oddities."

Sae was wondering if Femio was like Aburatsubo.

"Bonjour mademoiselles!"

_French?!_ Not even Aburatsubo knew French! He was trying to tutor Sae and Takeo in English as it is! If Aburatsubo were that talented and were here at the moment, then Sae would ask what the mystery boy just said.

Rose petals started to rain on the girls.

"He's here...", Duck muttered.

The rest of the classmates started to move away, the girls hiding in restrooms, janitor's closets and teacher's lounges in the hallway as Sae gasped. There was a cow in the building! And a maroon-haired boy was riding it!

"I... uh... Cow... uggh...", Sae shrieked in confusion.

"You didn't know?", Duck muttered, "He's the school's... shall we call it, 'Casanova'."

_Were they serious?!_

"By the way... I freaked out about the cow the first time as well..."

Sae got up and started to run, but as always, the ground pulled her and she fell face-forward towards it.

"Ah... Such a timid soul... I bet you in Japan they call it, the 'tsundere', non?"

Duck stood up.

"Mr. Femio, do you think we can actually have a more... casual introduction?"

Femio nodded, "Very well then... As mademoiselle wishes..."

Femio kissed Duck before dancing off. Duck shivered, but remained calm otherwise. The boy showed his doe-like lilac colored eyes before leaving.

Sae got up.

"That guy was so strange!", Sae shrieked, but not before checking to make sure he left earshot of the comment.

"I know. Say... Doesn't he look like a kid that you and Mr. Aburatsubo would have?"

"Don't pair me with people just because we went to high school together! We are FAR from sweethearts!", Sae declared.

"I wasn't trying to say that, Miss..."

"Sae. Sae Sawanoguchi.", Sae then muttered, as she followed it by apologizing for her rudeness.

"It's fine. So what was your relationship with Mr. Aburatsubo?"

"We were... Students to Mr. Takakura!"

"Ah. So you were in the same class?"

"Well, it isn't really a class, I mean... It was more like a club. A magic club, I should add."

"Wow! So cool!"

"Mr. Aburatsubo though was always hostile towards me, especially when I get close to Mr. Takakura."

"Huh? So he had a teacher, student relationship?", Duck asked.

"N-no no! Mr. Takakura and Mr. Aburatsubo are the same age!", Sae shrieked.

"Oh! I forgot! You address classmates and teachers by their last name regardless. How polite... I'm sorry!", Duck muttered.

"It's okay..."

Sae and Duck realized they both acted like each other; Sae and Duck both apologize when they do something ridiculous, they both have two left feet, and they both sometimes daze off and dream. Difference was, Sae's profession was always magic, but in a business setting, she would be a novelist. Duck staid with dancing, no matter the scenario.

Sae had short, shaggy brown hair, and she wears a headband to keep the hair off her face and Duck also had wild pink hair, but she tamed it in a braid. Both had blue eyes and the both of them like fairy tales.

Though, difference was, Sae had Mr. Takakura and Mr. Aburatsubo for friends, and they were both usually nice gentlemen. Duck had female friends, and the both of them were meaner than Mr. Aburatsubo in a bad mood. Pique and Lilie were fawning over Mytho, despite being Rue's boyfriend. At least Mr. Aburatsubo was dedicated to hanging out with the two of them, despite holding some reservations against Sae when Takeo rewards her for her trying to do magic.

"Hey! Maybe we should hang out sometime! I think Mr. Takakura would be happy to have someone show us around!", Sae smiled.

"Thanks! That'll be a great idea!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in another classroom, Aburatsubo could not stop staring at Takeo with his emerald green eyes.

Takeo and his brown rattail, Takeo and his shaggy hair, Takeo and his glasses, Takeo and his bright amber eyes, Takeo and his light tan skin... Those were traits Aburatsubo couldn't get enough of!

Takeo was studying to be a History major. Aburatsubo only followed suit because he was madly in love with him, and going with him to Germany was a wise choice, especially to get away from his clingy mother and help Takeo at least understand what people are saying. Though, he was disappointed Sae was able to go to Germany as well.

There was one kid that bugged him, though. He had curly locks of maroon hair and his doe-like eyes, a lilac color, just staring at him. The hair was long for a boys, but then again, nothing can compare to Aburatsubo's long locks of straight hair. He was wondering maybe because they have the same hair color, or maybe the boy was in curious about him, and is wondering if they were cousins. The thought made him shiver as he leaned towards Takeo.

"Takeo..."

Takeo tried to ignore him, paying close attention to what the teacher was saying. When classes dismissed, Aburatsubo followed Takeo out the door and then the maroon haired boy followed him.

"Takeo... I think we're being followed."

Takeo turned and smiled nervously, knowing what Aburatsubo meant, "And who might you be?"

As soon as the boy opened his mouth, Aburatsubo at first thought it was going to be a declaration to be his rival. He was so loud, and at first he sounded angry. He didn't know why, but then...

"However, since you're such... an exceptional beauty... I'm prepared to forgive you."

Aburatsubo looked confused.

"Please, good sir! Tell me your name!"

"Aburatsubo. Ayanojo Aburatsubo."

He looked at Takeo in confusion. Usually it was girls fawning over Aburatsubo, despite him obviously not caring about them. Sure, he was a terrific athlete, a strong actor, and overall, a good student, but he was only going to the club meetings to get away from his overbearing mother, who keeps babying him and ruining any chance of him having a normal life. He wasn't expecting girls to be doing that in class. Now, he fell in love with Takeo, and even if he was gay, he wasn't expecting a boy to confess his feelings for him.

"Aburatsubo... I shall remember that... Oh God! Pour judgement on this sinner!"

Suddenly, the butler that Femio had was about to bring a red flag to provoke the bull Femio had to attack him, but he was stopped.

"Wait a minute!", Takeo said, yanking his hand and saving him from being mauled by a bull's horns.

Aburatsubo gasped. Was Takeo going to... No... Not really. For all the years he knew Takeo Takakura, Takeo never loved Aburatsubo. He saw him as a friend, yes... But never as a lover. Takeo was straight, and Aburatsubo knew it.

"So you're just going to leave us like that?", Takeo hissed, as he held the small boy's shoulders and shaking them.

"But... Don't you know? I am a prince that loves all and is loved in return! Doesn't that trouble you, monsieur?", the boy sobbed.

"What the...", Takeo asked confused.

"Ignore that... So you're saying you're the school playboy..."

The boy looked up. Aburatsubo was not amused. He was about to slap the poor kid.

"Aburatsubo... No!", Takeo growled.

The boy then saw Takeo. He was defending him.

"Don't get mad!", Takeo exclaimed.

"Why? You're jealous of his bravery to fling himself at every woman he sees?", Aburatsubo hissed.

"Even if that is the case, don't you think he would be a great addition to the Magic Club?", Takeo then asked.

"Oh Takeo! I didn't know you were the type to advertise the club!", Aburatsubo then grinned devilishly, saying it in the most snarky way possible.

Takeo was taken aback by Aburatsubo's sarcasm. He's obviously jealous, and Takeo couldn't tell why. Then he looked down. Both the boy and Aburatsubo had feminine features, but were still male. The mystery boy acted more like a girl, though, screaming 'Unhand me' and 'Help' when Takeo kept holding his hand. Aburatsubo at least acted like a man when necessary. There was also that thought that the boy said he was a prince who loves all.

Takeo's fantasy overthrew him as he then pictured the boys at first getting mad because they both love him. But then it escalated to heated make outs and the boys forgot about Takeo altogether, finally freeing Takeo of Aburatsubo's affections.

Sadly, reality slapped him in the face in the form of a scared Aburatsubo.

"Don't tell me you're taking advantage of this guy! He may be younger than me, but you would NEVER stoop that low, would you?", Aburatsubo yelped in Japanese.

"Me?! Why are you saying that?!"

"Takeo..."

"Aburatsubo! You're silly! I'd never swing that way. C'mon... Let's take this kid into a private area."

The Casanova shivered as Takeo took him by the hand as he and Aburatsubo were walking. This maroon-haired pretty boy gulped scared and confused.

* * *

Sae and Duck waited in the shabbiest room in the school.

"Mr. Takakura and Mr. Aburatsubo tend to find small spaces for us to perform magic. Then again, we kind of got used to that since everyone else took the larger rooms.", Sae muttered depressed. She thought of Takeo's bully back in Japan, Mizuha Miyama.

Mizuha only bullied him because of her feelings for him. She just didn't know how to react though. The girl ruined his childhood, from stealing his swimsuit and filling them with crabs, to basically drawing over his pictures, Sae was relieved she didn't follow Takeo to Germany. She also kept on hogging all of the space Takeo had, so they couldn't do as many spells because of it.

The girl also didn't help that she was the most snobbish girl Sae ever encountered. She forces people to do what she wanted. She stole the spotlight when she had the chance. Tyrant and egotist would be understatements. Sae only wished that Mizuha learned that doing those things to get her way isn't always the way to go.

"Sae... Are you okay?"

Sae blinked and turned to Duck, "Oh! I'm sorry, I was just thinking of when we were in high school together."

"I see... I guess you're lucky you passed that entrance exam; You get to be with your friends. And no worries! Once you guys start using magic, then maybe the school would get interesting."

"Yeah! Thanks for the input. By the way, how did you get the name, Duck? Isn't that strange for a girl to be called that?"

"Well I..."

She was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door showing Takeo and Aburatsubo carrying a familiar face to the girls.

"It's Mr. Femio!"

"Femio?", Takeo muttered.

"Ah... so he has a name.", Aburatsubo sneered.

Femio looked scared and confused. He hugged Duck for comfort. But when she quacked, that's when things get really strange for the three Magic User's.

"Quaaaa!"

The girl that was Duck was now a yellow duckling. She could be the size of an adult duck, but the coloring was still that of a duckling's.

"Oh my... We didn't even have to use magic for that...", Aburatsubo muttered.

Femio still hugged the duck, not caring one bit about what was going on.

"Takeo... You didn't have to be so forceful, though...", Aburatsubo fake moaned, caressing Takeo as if he were the bad guy.

"W-what will you two do with me?", Femio asked, looking like a mouse about to be eaten alive by a cat.

"Nothing. Why? You're scared?", Takeo asked casually.

Femio muttered, "Heh. The only thing I fear... is moi's own beauty. But you want me... What's your reason?"

Aburatsubo turned to Takeo, "Should we tell him?"

Takeo was too busy noticing Duck's clothes on the floor: a puffy lemon yellow turtleneck with brighter yellow pants with pockets that look like wings, pink and orange socks and shoes. Aburatsubo averted his gaze and pulled his face towards his.

"Takeo?"

Takeo blinked as he snapped back to reality after imagining Duck turning into a human girl again.

"I... Well..."

Takeo then adjusted himself and addressed Femio, "Femio..."

"It's just Femio...", Femio smiled, shaking his head presuming Takeo was wondering what his last name was.

"Right... *ahem* Femio, would you like to become a magic user?"

"Ah! So a prince like me will finally have a mentor like Merlin?"

Takeo wasn't thinking about King Arthur. In fact, he was too busy realizing how much of a ham Femio was.

"Umm... Yes... You can say that...", Takeo murmured.

"Yes! Teach me magic, oh wise one! Help me learn the ways of magic so that one day the girls would like me for more than just my good looks!", Femio smiled. His doe eyed expression showed a newfound inspiration to be Takeo's pupil. They looked so odd on him though; They reminded him too much of Sae. At the same time, it was so wonderful to know that Femio was looking for advice on how to impress women... from someone like Takeo.

Takeo decided not to distract himself with those thoughts as he grinned, "It's going to be a long ride! After all, Sawanoguchi, Aburatsubo, and I are actually veterans while you and... Duck, are new."

Duck carried her clothes as she jumped on the water fountain and turned it on, spraying it all over her body. She turned back into a human girl and Takeo's mind went blank as he actually saw a naked girl in front of him.

Duck though, covered herself as she slowly started to get dress. As a ballerina, her form was small and demure, also skinny and bird-like. So Aburatsubo didn't understand why Takeo's nose began to bleed excessively.

She slowly put her clothes back on, also revealing a ruby red pendant she put on after her clothes. Sae was surprised Aburatsubo and Femio weren't paying attention. Aburatsubo she could understand, but Femio proven time and time again to really like women. What happened?

"Anyway, today we'll learn a teleportation spell. It might be a bit difficult at first, but hopefully this might help you visit familiar faces you want to see, no matter how far you live!"

"So we're doing this to see how the Kitanoshi College branch of the Magic Club is doing, right?", Aburatsubo asked.

Takeo nodded, "Right!"

"Time Zones are different here, Takeo.", Aburatsubo reminded him. Takeo shook his head in shame.

"Well, either way, we have Skype and texts to see how Nanaka and Akane are doing, anyway. Sure, we miss them, but that's the great thing about technology!", Sae smiled.

"Sae brings up a good point. Maybe we should just do this teleportation spell for fun!", Takeo smiled. His face shown that he really did want to make sure Nanaka was doing well as the new president of the Magic Club, especially since she was the one always being reluctant to do magic because she wanted to be the 'Normal Teenaged Girl'.

"Well, shall we begin?", Aburatsubo asked.

"Sure. We'll work on your uniforms tomorrow, but for now... Let's begin!", Takeo smiled.

He gave Duck and Femio each a wand. Takeo was expecting more, but at least he felt satisfied there were more than three-to-four people in the room.

After they chanted the spell, they wound up in America somehow, instead of Japan. It was in a young adult woman's well-lit room. To their left were live cats on her bed just sitting there. To their right, there was a girl speaking in fluent American English. She was reading a fan fiction on her computer out loud and then turned to see the five of them just opening their eyes in shock.

Duck quacked in shock, but she didn't turn into a duck like she would have expected. The girl turned, startled by the sight of five young adults just standing there. The cats on her bed dashed underneath it, also startled by the strangers.

"WHO ARE YOU, GUYS?!", the woman asked.

The woman had dirty blonde hair, and bright brown eyes. She wore glasses, a lot like Takeo's, but while Takeo's were in a semi-circle, hers were in an ellipse. She had a black suit on over a white shirt. Her light brown hair was in a pony-tail and her bangs were parted at the center.

"We are the Magic Club of Goldcrown University in Goldcrown, Germany.", Takeo replied.

"Oh... So you're from another fan fiction as well?", the woman asked.

"Well... Um...", Takeo muttered, unaware of what was going on.

"What's a fan fiction?", Aburatsubo asked.

"Hold on... Let me look you guys up on Google or Wikipedia. Can you each tell me your names so I can see if you're acting in character?"

"In character?", Duck muttered.

"Umm... Ms..."

"I'm the FanFic Critic. I read it; You listen.", she replied.

"Oh Lord, what's going on here?"

They turned to see another woman, who looked a lot similar to the Fanfic Critic, except she wore a black shirt and not a white shirt, no jacket, and no glasses.

"Oh, hey Susan! Can you interview each and every one of these characters?", the woman replied.

"Ah. Very well then... Seeing there's five of you, it won't take long to look at you."

Takeo blushed. What were they going to ask? What were they examining? Either way, Takeo liked the thought of being alone with a girl for a couple of minutes.

"Okay... We'll start with you, spiky haired man with glasses...", Susan muttered, cynically looking at Takeo with disturbed eyes.

And soon, the examining began. With Takeo, he had to think through what he was saying or else he'll sound too weird and the woman wouldn't be impressed by her at all.

"Hmm... Takeo Takakura... Age 17... According to the main canon of your series. However, in this fan fiction, you grew older and at college age. So this is two years after the..."

"What are you talking about?", Takeo asked confused.

"Oh yeah... Since you're in a different universe from us, reality and fiction is totally different from you. My apologies. We should have explai-"

"So our magic took us... Into another universe?!", Takeo gasped.

"Now that... That is interesting. Inter-planar magic should be impossible in your universe. However, since you guys first discovered this magic... Do you know what, that might have defiled canon somewhat."

"SOMEWHAT? SOMEWHAT?! Wait... What's canon?"

"Ohhh boy... Well, I guess I'll have similar reactions from your group of friends, huh?"

"Femio though... Not as much. He'll probably fling yourself at you, because you wanted to interview him. I've only known him for a moment, but the kid's an open book. He's totally nuts!"

Susan looked him up on Google. One of the few things that showed up was Femio's Princess Tutu wiki page. Then there was TVTropes. Takeo was serious when he said this.

"Ah. Seeing he's only a One Scene Wonder in his original continuity, just appearing in one episode... It's not surprising even a main character like you can pick up the loon's personality just by one conversation with him. His age is clearly unknown, but according to the continuity in this fan fiction, he's 14. Wait... He's a man?!"

"You too, huh?", Takeo muttered sarcastically.

"Well, gee! Isn't that sweet...", Susan snarked back, ready to kick out Takeo.

Soon, Susan interviewed the rest of the group, each with different reactions to being in a new dimension, learning about things they never knew before. Finally, Susan gave her results to the FanFic Critic.

"Okay... In this fan fiction, it seems a bit interesting, seeing an alternate reality where the students in Goldcrown Acad- Okay, aside from a few canon defilements, and the characters occasionally going borderline out of character, I see potential in this fan fiction being made by someone who actually cares about the series and the main characters in it. Now, can I please get back to my original fan fiction I was supposed to review?", the bifocals clad girl asked.

"Wait. Let's read one of these fan fictions. We want to know ourselves what's going on and what a fan fiction is!", Takeo declared.

"Don't you guys have internet?", the FanFic Critic asked.

"Ummm...", Duck thought dumbstruck.

"Oh yeah... In fiction, the internet doesn't exist for these characters or else they would discover things they SHOULDN'T.", the FanFic Critic remembered, planting the palms of her hands over her face in disappointment.

Takeo thought that the internet was now a dirty DIRTY place.

"The fan fiction I'm currently reading is a Pokémon fan fiction. Pokémon is a more popular series than... you guys' shows. But that doesn't mean the fans of this show are nice popular people." the FanFic Critic restated.

"Fans?", Sae asked, "Like Aburatsubo's fan club except they focus on... Pokémon?"

"Yes. Exactly like that. Seeing you guys are new to Pokémon, then you might not get this story at first because since Pokémon is popular in this universe, everyone would assume you would know the characters by now.", the FanFic Critic smiled.

"What's this 'fan fiction' about exactly?", Aburatsubo asked, a little confused.

"It's called 'The Dress'. It's rated M for Mature. It's by Ginny Perry..."

"Mature? Well, most of us are adults, right?", Duck smiled nervously.

"It's a fan fiction about a boy getting raped by his father. Are you sure you want to read it now?", the FanFic Critic smiled.

The rest of the group stayed silent. Aburatsubo and Femio's jaws both dropped in shock.

"WHY ARE YOU READING THAT?!", Aburatsubo shrieked in horror.

"Because my fans told me to.", the FanFic Critic sighed in shame.

"That's terrible!", Sae sobbed, "Nobody should go through that!"

"I know. But as punishment, my fans will have to hear me read it too. Besides. I've read all kinds of horrible fan fiction! Be happy you weren't there with my friend reading Cloud Mows the Lawn? or there when I was reading Mewtwo's Desires? or Timeless Lust?"

Nobody in the Magic Club, especially not the newcomers, Duck and Femio, ever read any of those cringe worthy fan fictions, but they took her word for it, since she's known as the FanFic Critic. She knew a lot more about this fan fiction thing than they did. Takeo worried there were more stories about them that they didn't know, aside from the current one that the FanFic Critic believes they teleported from.

If it's as dirty as he thought they were, he at least hoped for a story where he was making beautiful love to Sae. He fantasized the possibilities the fan fictions had. However, knowing Pokémon is more popular than their supposed 'series' he was in, and if what Susan was right about them only being slightly out of character, there was a possibility there were fan fictions between him and Aburatsubo. That almost made him throw up in his mouth. As much as Aburatsubo liked him, Takeo only recognized him as a close friend. Sure, his affection drove him to the point of madness, but if Takeo were to hurt Aburatsubo, it's not just him, his mother and his fangirls that would be crying. Besides, he would probably bet not even Aburatsubo likes fan fiction about the two doing it.

"Hey! Takeo! Earth to Takeo!", the FanFic Critic yelled, waving her hand over his face. He snapped back to reality.

"Huh? What?"

"I think after I finish reading this little fan fiction, maybe I can teach you and your little friends more about how storytelling with other people's characters can actually be good. After that, would you like to become a fellow FanFic Critic?"

Takeo would never would have guessed that the FanFic Critic would appoint him and the club as apprentices.

"Well... I could, but we really should get home."

"Good point. You know, your home is back in that fan fiction. If your magic can work as well there, maybe you can return home and maybe with that said, the writer of your fan fiction can probably learn a thing or two from this little experience."

"Thank you FanFic Critic. Alright everyone. Are you ready?"

"Ready!"

The five magicians then tried to chant again. But something strange happened.

"It didn't work...", Sae gasped.

"Oh no...", Susan hissed under her breath, "They're stuck."

"Oh no!", Sae and Duck cried, "We're stuck!"

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Author's Note: **

Hello everyone! ChickenWings93 here! This is my first fan fiction about the FanFic Critic! You know, originally it was going to be just a normal crossover fan fiction about two shows I like that just so happen to be made by the same creator, be both magical girl anime, and have both characters having both inner and outer conflicts. It was going to be another self discovery fan fiction, where Sae answers a lot of questions.

Then I started watching the FanFic Critic. Since I love the CartoonHero's reviews of Cos-Prayers (which inspired the fan fiction, Cross-Prayers which also crosses over Magic User's Club and Princess Tutu) and I also watched AFanfictionCritic on YouTube, and when I saw her in one of the related videos on YouTube with over 100 episodes more than she did, I decided to give this a shot. Oh boy, were these episodes interesting. Actually, they were pretty good and my only gripe is that FanFic Critic read out every part of the story (or when it's over 10,000 words in the word count, at least one chapter.)

I may just make this a one-shot and leave it up to the viewer to see what she wants to do with it. OR I can at least make another chapter, this time using different characters... Hmm... Maybe a fan fiction critique starring the FanFic Critic and the characters of Tenchi Muyo!?


	2. Chapter 1: Crack Pairings Ahoy!

From Alien Princesses, Galaxy Police, and an Insane Family Overall to FanFic Critics: FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 1

* * *

Ayeka woke up after a horrible nightmare. In her dream, Tenchi left her for Ryoko. It was generally normal for Ayeka to have such bad dreams, especially since Ryoko was always taking a hands on approach on how to get Tenchi to bed her. Ayeka hated to believe this, but she probably was going to give up on trying to win Tenchi's heart.

She began to sob on her bed.

"Ayeka, what's wrong?", Sasami asked.

Ayeka looked up. There was her sister... with big bright pink eyes and cyan colored hair, looking down on her violet haired older sister as she was crying like a baby.

"Oh... Sasami...", Ayeka muttered, looking back down to resume her sniveling.

"Ayeka! Don't try to hide it! You're sad! Don't worry! You can tell me anything! I'm your little sister, after all!", Sasami smiled.

Sasami sat next to her.

"You're too kind, Sasami. I might just be going paranoid... but I don't think I love Tenchi anymore...", Ayeka told her.

"What happened?"

"Ayeka's finally admitting I'm the better candidate for Tenchi's lover, Sasami, sweetie!"

Ayeka turned to see the light mint-haired demon that she had such resentment and reservations against. Saying that they were mortal enemies was an understatement. Ryoko would always get under her skin and since she was trying to get her to leave, Ayeka was doing the same. After all, who would EVER in their right mind forgive the woman who tried to destroy her home planet and their inhabitants, separate her from her first love, and now try to separate her from another boy she loves!

"You witch...", Ayeka hissed.

"Are you going to go home to your mommy and cry about it?"

"Shut up, Ryoko!", Ayeka muttered, going from depressed to now pissed off out of her wits.

"Hey! If it makes you feel better, I bet you that you can find a guy that I would totally find godawful! If you do that, you can stay here, but if not, you gotta go back to Jurai and tell mommy and daddy Tenchi wasn't the right guy for you!"

Ayeka thought about that idea. Maybe if she did, then maybe Tenchi would get jealous and Ayeka can easily dump the unlucky loser that met Ayeka's eyes and proved to be unworthy in both Ayeka and Ryoko's eyes and leave him with Ryoko.

"Maybe I will...", Ayeka grinned.

* * *

A few hours later, Ayeka was in the city. There were so many men in the city. When Ayeka tried to get directions from them though, although they ranged from clingy and creepy to egotistical and snobbish, Ayeka felt that those pigs would be a good match for Ryoko and that depressed her more and more.

As night time fell, Ayeka walked into a bar. There was a possibility of meeting a drunkard that could tick off Ryoko here. But who knew? Ayeka had to go there once. Besides, she never been into a Terran facility that sold drinks before.

"Care for a drink?"

Ayeka turned and noticed a beautiful woman, well, at least Ayeka thought this was a woman. Her voice actually sounded funny, like a man trying to imitate a woman. But her eyes... Her beautiful blue eyes... and her red lips... and her pretty red and pink dress...

Ayeka shook her head. This can't be right; Ayeka wasn't lesbian. She never thought she would see a woman that she would have feelings for. Her heart began to beat hard. This made no sense! She's a Terran! She's not of Juraiyan royal blood and yet... It felt so strange... like when she first saw Tenchi the first time.

"Umm... Why yes, of course?", Ayeka muttered.

The woman looked puzzled at her for a moment.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry...", the woman replied, "I was never expecting a real girl to hang around these parts."

Ayeka was confused, "What do you mean? Aren't you a woman?"

The woman looked down, almost looking depressed for a moment.

"Anyway, what are the drinks options? You seem like you know the bar pretty well."

The woman sat next to her, "Well..."

She started listing all of the drinks. Then she heard the manly bartender (who was surprisingly an Afro-Carribean female with dread-locks) yell, "OI! Ginkitsune! Great job advertising the drinks! Hopefully you don't bring this confused little princess home!"

Ayeka shivered in shock, _How did they know she was a princess?!_

"Oh, I won't! Chika would kill me if she saw me bring a fair lady back home with me!"

"Who's Chika?", Ayeka asked.

The woman, Ginkitsune, turned, "She's my little sister... Well, she's a foster sister, but she's very affectionate and clingy towards me! She's almost like a real one! Guess that's the cute thing about having a sister, right?"

Ayeka then noticed there were rope burns on her wrists.

"What happened to your wrists?", Ayeka observed.

Ginkitsune looked away, "Oh... Nothing... I was pulling on the leash I had... My little brother can get wild sometimes..."

Ayeka felt puzzled, "You put your little brother on a leash?"

Ginkitsune shook his head, "Oh! No! It's not like that! We never abuse Teika back in our house!"

Ayeka tilted her head, "So... He's a little LITTLE brother..."

"Isn't he so sweet! He's got a long long mane and fluffy fu-"

Ginkitsune covered his mouth.

"So he's actually a dog?"

Ginkitsune laughed nervously, "No... He's a cat..."

"Ah... I never knew you could walk cats."

"Of course you can! But it's very difficult!", Ginkitsune muttered. Ayeka felt suspicious of her. She's hiding something from Ayeka. Something she doesn't want Ayeka to know.

Ayeka ordered apple martinis. Soon, slowly but surely, the both of them got drunk. They went back to the Masaki Family household. Ayeka blacked out before she knew what else happened.

* * *

The next morning, Ayeka woke up, semi naked next to a blonde haired man covered in whip lashes, bruises, and more rope burns. His face remained intact, and in his sleep, he looked scared.

"What have I done?!"

Ayeka ran to look at herself in the mirror. She was worried she made herself look like the bad guy. She abducted a man and tortured him, at least, that's what she thought. She didn't know where Ginkitsune was, but she knew right away, unlike that girl that got her to drink apple martinis, Ayeka was not going to be a coward. She felt horrible. She felt like she was the monster. She shook her head.

"Maybe the police will find him... I deserve to be arrested and forced to settle in prison if I'm one of those violent drunkards...", Ayeka shivered.

She heard a loud knocking on the door.

"OPEN UP!"

Ayeka rushed to get the door, pushing Tenchi out of the way, "Forgive me Tenchi, but this is for me!"

Then she looked straight ahead. There were a lot of strange sights to see; a tan lion talking with a delicate small little girl with bright red eyes and dark blue hair, looking scared. There was a giant Predator looking black and blue robot, and a pink jellyfish hanging over his arm like a hawk. There was a red haired, red eyed man wearing glasses, and next to him was an angry girl with white twin tails and a beautiful form, showing red eyes.

They were all murmuring simultaneously. The lion and the little girl were both saying they were worried, the robot threatened to hurt Ayeka if something had happened to a 'Ginka', the redhead was saying he is a Paranormal Investigator going to retrieve his son, and the white haired girl had a fiery expression, hissing about 'Ginichi' running off with another woman because he lost interest in was strange. They all referenced something about a man, but Ayeka only remembered returning home with a woman.

"LET THE OMNISCIENT AND OMNIPOTENT KYOUKA MIDAREZAKI SPEAK FIRST!"

"I'm out...", Tenchi said, leaving the situation for anyone else that stepped near the front door. Ryoko followed affectionately hugging him and snickering at Ayeka's troubles.

Ayeka then looked down. There was a cat girl with purple hair and green eyes eyeing her like a cat about to reach for a mouse in a pantry.

"Are you Ginkitsune's parents?", Ayeka asked.

"Ginkitsune?", Kyouka asked.

"Oh yeah! That's Ginka's alias, Mama!", the little girl smiled.

"Ginichi's been going around looking for women... with a nickname?!", the white-haired teenager hissed.

"Nnnghh..."

Ayeka turned. The blonde haired man was awake, and walking towards the restroom. But his eyes widened when he saw who was at the door talking to Ayeka.

"Ahhh! Mama and Papa were so worried for me! I forgot to text them I was going to be home late! Forgive me, everyone! I'll get dressed as soon as I can!"

Ayeka heard that same voice from Ginkitsune...

"Ginichi... We're going home regardless if you're dressed or not...", the white haired girl growled ready to jump on him. She was not happy, and Ayeka can tell by her voice.

"Now, now... You wouldn't want your... brother to go running around naked, now would we?", Ayeka muttered, trying to calm everyone down.

"Ginka had a one night stand with the girl that acts like an old lady! I'm surprised! I'm shocked! So tell your mother how it was!", the cat girl yelped excited, jumping over Ayeka to get to the blonde boy.

"Ayeka! What's going on?!", Yosho, an old traditional man in white robes hissed disgusted. Sasami was speechless.

"You guys!", the blonde haired boy squealed. His face was red and he was being chased by the little cat girl addressing herself as his mother. Ayeka's mind went blank as then she thought of how because Ginka dressed and acted like a woman and had a family that seemed almost impossible... that she found the man Ryoko would be easily turned off by.

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone went silent as another new face stepped in. She had long, wild, ridiculous flowing red hair with a purple headband to keep it out of her face. She had green eyes and she was much like the cat girl, almost confused for a little girl.

"Well, since nobody is trying to get Ayeka to explain what happened between her and your son, Ms. Kyouka Midarezaki, let me tell you, it may be a good idea to probably make it so that it didn't happen."

"Oh, Washu, are you being serious?", Ayeka asked the girl.

"Well, since Ryoko is helping Tenchi out in the fields, I don't mind one bit about testing my history eraser button."

"History... Eraser Button?", Ayeka asked.

"Yes. It erases what happened the day before and makes it start all over again. I'll send in Mihoshi to make sure this inconvenience doesn't happen again. It'll be as simple as that."

Ayeka smiled. She was going to erase out of her mind waking up to see Ginka's battered and beaten body. She was going to erase doing whatever nasty things she did to him. But at the same time, Ryoko's bet and meeting Ginkitsune would also be erased, which would return her to crying the next morning and the same exact thing happening regardless. That's when she frowned. It's going to be a cycle, wouldn't it? Like the movie Groundhog Day, except there was no giggles to be had, just sadness and misery for Ginka.

"I accept! Who knows? If this goes well, then maybe I can finally figure out a way to get Ginka to be manly again by another means!", the white haired girl giggled.

Ayeka blinked. Ginka hugged her one last time.

"That's right, Ayeka, darling...", Ginka smiled as he held her hand, "If you were worried about hurting me last night, you haven't done such a thing at all!"

"Then... Why were you..."

"Someone turned up the thermostat. It was getting hot, so I took off my wig and the rest of my clothes, save for my underwear, since unlike me, you're obviously a female, unlike me, who is only half female and half man..."

Ayeka was puzzled by what Ginka was telling her, but Ginka looked down depressed after he said that.

"Stop saying that! Of course you're 100% male! Why else do I try to train you to be manly!", the white haired girl hissed, then pouncing on him again, this time Ayeka didn't get a warning and saw the white haired girl start beating up Ginka.

"Hey! Stop that!", Sasami yelled, pushing the girl off Ginka.

"Ahh...", Ginka moaned. He sounded like he was in a mix between pain and pleasure.

"Ginka! Are you okay?", Ayeka asked.

"I'm... fine, Ayeka... Don't worry about me. Chika likes to do that to me when I do something she doesn't like."

Ayeka gasped in horror. That explained why Ginka's body was in that bad of a condition.

"See? If you let one of the two lovebirds speak, then all your troubles will be over!", Washu smiled.

"No it's not!", Ayeka began to cry.

"What's the matter?", Ouka, the father asked.

"Did you guys just passively let these things happen to Ginka? Did you guys not notice the scars? What kind of family enables a girl to do this to their own brother? It's not right at all!", Ayeka began to sob.

Ayeka was raised to love her family members and not lay a finger on them to hurt them. Sure, there was the Juraiyan Bridegroom treatment, but that would be the one and only exception, and even then, there would have to be something to make it up to the husband for what he went through during it.

"Ayeka's right. This is no different than the events of me being bullied back at school because of Chika's jealousy, before she became a member of the Midarezaki family.", Yuka muttered, running to Ayeka's side.

"How observant...", Kyouka muttered, now glaring at Chika, the white-haired girl.

"I..."

"I understand the point of the woman who had the affair with our Honored Brother. At first I just thought it was a normal human interaction to do those things out of love. However, after observing Ms. Ayeka's reaction to Ginka's body being negative, I realized that was but a mere mistake.", the lion muttered, with a deep manly voice.

Ayeka just noticed the lion talked.

"ASLAN?!", Ayeka asked.

"No, miss... I'm Teika. I am Ginka's brother.", the lion began to chuckle.

Ayeka then mentioned Ginkitsune, or should Ayeka say now, Ginka, mentioning that Teika was a cat. She wasn't expecting it to be a big cat, though.

"Grrr... Stop derailing the topic! I, Kyouka the omniscient and omnipotent, will not tolerate this any longer!", Kyouka roared.

And soon, Kyouka accidentally touched the History Eraser Button.

Everything started to go white.

Ayeka looked at Ginka and hugged him.

"I'm sorry for vilifying your sister like that...", Ayeka cried.

"No... Don't be... Even though I remember her in a different light than you have, you have every right to criticize me and my happy family...", Ginka smiled, tearing up with her. They closed their eyes and they look like they were going to kiss.

"NOO!", Chika yelled, trying to yank her brother out of Ayeka's arms, interrupting them before their lips met.

"Chika! Wait!", Yuka gasped.

"Honored Sister, just let that be for one second!"

"Ayeka!", Sasami muttered.

"Ayeka! Wait! I don't think that's a good idea!", Mihoshi said, finally speaking.

Chika gasped as Yuka and Teika pushed her off Ginka as soon they both disappeared with Ayeka, Ginka, Sasami, and Mihoshi.

"What just happened?", the red haired man asked.

"I don't know, Ouka... But that's not right at all...", Washu muttered.

"Hyouka! Gekka! Let's go search for them!", Kyouka then told the robot and the jellyfish.

They nodded.

"And Chika... We're going to have a long word with you about something...", the red haired man named Ouka said, finally sounding like a father disappointed in his daughter.

* * *

Meanwhile, in another dimension, the FanFic Critic acquired four new apprentices, also from shows she didn't recognize on the top of her head.

They were two couples. One couple both being of Japanese descent, while the other couple were supposedly French, but the girl had a dark skin color and green eyes, as well as dark colored hair and dressed in red and white acrobatics clothes, while the boy was a fair skinned brunet who wore glasses in a perfect circular shape, blue Victorian Era clothes that matched his blue eyes, and a French accent that made the FanFic Critic die inside.

The Japanese couple were different. The girl had golden blonde hair and brown eyes, wearing a black and red school uniform with the skirt torn up. The boy had dark colored hair, presumably forest green colored, but the FanFic couldn't tell in the light she was in. He wore just plain clothes, with a white outer shirt covering a green T-shirt, and dark colored jeans. He was just shivering in the corner, cowering in the fetal position.

"D-don't look at me... Eyes scary..."

And the first apprentices they had? Well, after their fiasco with a poorly written fan fiction about sparkling vampires and angsty teenagers, Takeo couldn't deal with it anymore and tried to go home. They tried to use the spell to return home, and instead, these four human characters just looked confused.

The French boy though couldn't help but stare at the computer.

"What is zat incredible machine you 'ave zere?", he asked, amazed at the screen.

"It's a computer...", the FanFic Critic hissed.

The two girls just looked at each other, then back at their boyfriends.

"Your boyfriend is weird...", the Japanese girl murmured, sounding like Susan except without the British accent.

"So is yours...", the dark skinned girl muttered, looking at the boy crying about eyes being scary.

"Mind if you leave them for moi?"

Before the Japanese girl was going to snap at the girl for calling the scared boy her boyfriend, Femio intervened.

"No... I'm happy with Jean for the moment...", the dark haired girl replied, looking back at the French boy now horrified with the horrible English that he was reading.

The Japanese girl punched Femio. Duck had to tend to him though, as he hit his head upside the FanFic Critic's walls.

"I'd rather choke on a muffin and die!", the Japanese girl hissed.

"Hey! Look... Newer faces...", Aburatsubo said, finally noticing Ayeka and Ginka's appearance.

"Ayeka, where are we?"

The FanFic Critic gasped surprised. She looked at Ayeka, Sasami, and Mihoshi as if they were familiar faces, like relatives at a family reunion.

"Susan! Can you see this?!", the FanFic Critic asked the cynical British woman outside.

"Let me guess... More strangers."

"It's Tenchi Muyo! characters! Three of them!"

Susan peeked into her room. Ayeka didn't know what was going on. She hugged Ginka in hopes they weren't interested in hurting him.

"And they're with three more strangers... One of them being a lion."

"ASLAN?!", the FanFic Critic shrieked.

"No. It's Teika... Why do people address me as 'Aslan'? Is he a famous creature of my kind?", the lion muttered.

"You're right. Gee... They're three strangers with them... Ayeka's holding a half naked one for some reason... and where's Ryoko, anyway?", the FanFic Critic muttered.

"I'm right here; What do you want?", the Japanese blonde girl asked.

"No, not you, Ookami, I'm talking about another Ryoko. Now go comfort Ryoshi. He'll need it...", the FanFic Critic muttered, pointing at the boy as he finally got used to everyone looking at him... until he saw new faces looking at him. Then he resumed crying in fear about eyes.

"Are you police from another dimension? If so, I'll be glad to tell you where that demon is! She's obviously with Tenchi and Yosho ba-"

"Well, at least Ayeka is acting in character...", Susan smirked, giggling at the high pitched British sounding girl's voice.

"Huh?", Ayeka asked confused.

"And who might you be? Some Gary Stu we haven't learned about?", Susan then hissed, glaring at Ginka who just hid his face from Susan's eyes.

"I-i-I'm Ginka Midarezaki! Eldest son of the Midarezaki family and the possible descendant of Enka!"

Ayeka looked at Ginka puzzled.

"Enka?"

"Just a second, let me Google this...", the FanFic Critic muttered, saddened that her fan fiction reading was interrupted once again. This time, it was by Ayeka, who probably annoyed her.

"I thought you knew of the story of Enka. He was a powerful demon that swore vengeance for his death saying his child would destroy the-", Yuka tried to explain when...

"Mademoiselle, let's go together alone, just the two of us, in this mysterious new world our nimble feet are now touching...", Femio interrupted Yuka hitting on Mihoshi.

"Wow... I'm really flattered! But umm... I don't even know your name, Mister...", Mihoshi muttered.

"Non, non... You see, I am a true prince who loves all and is loved in return. You may not need to hear my name...", Femio smiled, kissing Mihoshi's hand.

"Femio, cut the crap. Susan has to check to see if they're in character or not...", Aburatsubo scowled, pulling Femio away from Mihoshi.

"Oh! So you're a Jehovah's witness and pop sensation! I get it now!", Mihoshi smiled.

"HE'S NOT PRINCE.", Susan corrected, face planted in palms, baffled by her stupidity.

"Well, I'm Galaxy Police Officer Mihoshi Kuramitsu! No matter what, I'll protect the inhabitants of this estate as a means to pass the time figuring out how to get back!"

Ayeka shivered, "Obviously Washu's History Eraser Button sent us not into the past, but the present in another dimension..."

"Okay... Washu had that? Canon Defilement! Full on Canon Defilement!", Susan wrote down irritated by the Ren and Stimpy reference used.

"Umm...", Ginka murmured, "What's 'Canon Defilement'?"

Susan looked up to see the man. Then she saw Ginka notice Takeo staring at him curiously, wondering what happened in the fan fiction he was in.

"Ohh! You naughty boy! Stop staring at my body like that!", Ginka giggled, covering both his supposed 'breasts' and lower half of his body.

"We're both men...", Takeo muttered confused.

"'ey Nadia. Maybe we should interact with ze new faces of zis facility.", 'Jean' smiled.

"Thanks Jean... but I thought you knew how I feel about new faces...", the tan skinned girl muttered.

"At least give zem a chance!"

She sighed, "Fine..."

The dark haired girl looked at Teika.

"Hey there... I'm sorry I'm addressing you first, but maybe since we can both speak English that we can communicate more this way."

Teika smiled, "This is a strange a human girl looks to me as their ambassador. Tell me your name, woman..."

"Ze name is Jean Rocque Raltique. I'm an inventor. Zis is Nadia. We're really good friends.", Jean smiled as he replied.

"Well... Jean introduced me to you for me...", Nadia, the tan-skinned girl sighed.

"I am Teika... One of the potential children of Enka. The human boy occasionally addressing himself as a woman and the small quiet girl that tried to explain Enka earlier are also potential children. I know little about the Ayeka woman. She seems determined to protect Ginka now, even when they only been with each other for only 12 hours."

"CRACK PAIRING...", Susan growled, "Ayeka likes Tenchi and according to this series, Kyouran Kazoku Nikki, Ginka likes Chika."

"Now hold on! You mean to tell me Ginka enjoys what that woman does to him? Abusing him just because he thinks he's a woman?!"

"Wait... Maybe it was vice versa...", Susan then reanalyzed Ginka's data. Then she face palmed, "I should probably read into details more..."

"And what's a 'crack pairing' anyway? I demand an explanation, please.", Ayeka muttered now also as irritated as Susan.

"Oh! Susan told me what a crack pairing is. It's basically an unexpected pairing in a fan fiction. For example, Duck and Femio are a crack pairing, because Femio can't sit through a stable relationship and 'just love only one woman' and Duck is... well, a duck that takes a human form. While searching up 'Princess Tutu' we came across one fan fiction. I couldn't tell if it was good or not, but they were a lot of typos and there was a girl Duck couldn't recognize.", Sae then replied.

"So... Ginka and I are a couple you wouldn't expect happen?", Ayeka asked.

"Yeah. Especially since you just developed feelings for him in just 12 hours, according to Susan.", Sae muttered.

"No I have not!", Ayeka blushed.

"Then you wouldn't mind forming a crack pairing with me, right fair maiden?", Femio smiled as he handed Ayeka a rose.

"Like I'd marry a Terran version of Seiryo Tennen!", Ayeka hissed, slapping Femio's rose away.

"Ah... Um... Forgive me, sir... I'm just stressed because I..."

Femio was about to cry that Ayeka rejected his rose.

"There, there... Don't cry now...", Duck said, running to Femio to comfort him.

"OH PERFECT. The crack pairing was so devastating, that it created another one from an entirely different fan fiction!", Susan hissed writing it, "Overall, I don't know if the fan fiction you're in was worse than the one the first five characters were in! There was canon defilement, a dark twist on a character who was supposed to use her trying to seduce Ginka with S&M as a gag and turned it into another abuse story, therefore some character derailment, and... Was this made by the same exact author of that fan fiction?!"

"What's a fan fiction?!", Ayeka asked now scared and upset at the same time, "and why are you people saying Ginka and I are a 'crack pairing'?! We're obviously not in love with each other!"

Ginka smiled, "Ayeka's right! We're not lesbians for each other! I swear!"

Everyone looked at Ginka with a confused expression.

"Well, no worries... Once I figure out the spell for teleportations from different dimensions, we can send everyone back into their original places and everything will be okay...", Takeo said with a smiling face on.

"Trying to impress the new girls, Takeo?", Aburatsubo asked blankly.

"Aburatsubo! Don't you want to go home too?!", Takeo asked back.

"Exactly! I can't fit... Let's see... Fifteen mouths in this house! I already have my cats to deal with and obviously, I can tell you I have a problem with why it's a bad thing!", the FanFic Critic hissed.

"Don't worry! We can get jobs! Most of us are grown ups!"

Then Susan counted down.

"For a Magic Club, your magic is horrible... Femio's probably going to get restraining orders if he ever opens his mouth to anything that fucking moves, Jean and Nadia are from the Victorian Era, and because of that, Jean is going to stare down anything that has a plug, Ryoshi will break down into these freak outs over people seeing them, Ookami is violent, Ayeka, you and Sasami are princesses, Mihoshi is a ditz, and here are three newer faces, a little girl, a talking lion, and a god damn transvestite masochist."

Susan then slapped Ginka's face as Ginka covered the slap mark made on his face. Ayeka helped him keep standing. At the same time though, Ayeka saw the same face he had when Chika was hurting him. Because his body was slowly making the pain receptors less sensitive, Ginka couldn't tell if he should be crying in pain or moaning in ecstasy. Chika already messed him up enough as it is.

Yuka started to cry after Susan said those things, and even more sad that she slapped Ginka.

"See? He's probably thinking, 'Susan is so cute slapping me around like that!'", Susan then growled.

"Don't listen to Susan. She's always this rude.", the FanFic Critic groaned.

"I'm only telling the truth, Critic.", Susan sighed.

"D-don't cry... The mean British woman didn't mean it like that...", Takeo tried to calm Yuka down.

Sasami then stook her tongue out at Susan, "You're a real meanie!"

"Aw perfect! How about I just kill them already...", Susan muttered taking out a gun. Everyone gasped.

"NO, Susan! Their stories are incomplete... Without them, they'll stay that way. We'll just have to help Takeo and the rest of the Magic Club when we aren't being requested to read fan fiction. For now, they'll be apprentices. It's the only way they can afford anything here.", the FanFic Critic announced.

"I have to agree with the Critic here; How will we know the potential of the authors of these fan fictions if they aren't finished."

"Okay... but don't let Ginka read any bad fan fictions. He'll probably enjoy them in some sick twisted way.", Susan then muttered reluctantly.

This is how the FanFic Critic began raising 15 pupils in her house as they learn about the horrors of bad fan fiction.

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

**Author's Note:**

My God, was this long. I'm so sorry, FanFic Critic, I was hoping this second chapter would be the same exact length as the first one, but it got longer because I had to find the perfect end cap for it.

What's worse is that this was how I had to cure my jitters today; I started to have them when I tried to do an audio version of the story. It was hard trying not to cry in confusion when doing Femio's over-the-top foppish voice and at the same time figure out how to make the voices of Sae and Duck sound different. (I don't have voice lessons. So my voice acting sucks.)

Anyway, it's 2:30AM and I have to go to bed. I'll finish another chapter of my fan fiction tomorrow hopefully. Until then, good luck on your series!

**EDIT:**

I forgot to explain the Tenchi Muyo! and Kyouran Kazoku Nikki... Well, I have a guilty pleasure for my crack pairing I made in 2010. There was a certain music video Ayeka was in where she was 'punishing' Tenchi for being with Ryoko. In Kyouran Kazoku Nikki, there was a terrible running gag about the girl Chika 'punishing' Ginka whenever he acted feminine or attempted to friend-zone her. At first I thought it would be a one time thing, a sort of weird gag pairing due to Ginka slowly becoming a masochist as the gag kept going and going, even having a 'Oh how cute' expression when Chika put hand cuffs on him.

At first it was an... interesting way to add slapstick into the show, but now I feel like anyone would feel after dissecting a dead cat after watching this show and seeing in the end, Ginka sat through a date with the monster; horrible. Why would anyone, no matter gender, age, relationship status, or anything in between do that to the one they love because they have a trait they don't like, not because he's cheating on you for another woman? That's why Chika was vilified in this series.

I don't like her and as a little sister of an older brother, I only see him as a brother, and I would never try to do that to him just because he's acting in a way I don't like. And I think it was mentioned in another fan fiction reviewing show, but I don't think even foster siblings should look at each other romantically. ESPECIALLY when he saved your biological sister twice from her abusive tendencies that stemmed from a dysfunctional sadistic rich family. I'm just saying; Ginka isn't looking at you romantically. You may have met him in your childhood, but that was before you decided to join the Midarezaki family, and he probably still isn't interested in you that way, even when you dated him in the final episode.

So the gag pairing just turned into a normal crack pairing, where Ayeka is making sure that she isn't like Chika (despite the fact they kind of are alike, thank you, canon) at least, not towards Ginka. Why? I want to see if I can still keep Ayeka in character this way. It's interesting to see how it goes and how it'll turn out in the end. It's like mixing two colors of paint, or trying two different tastes of food in just one dish.

Anyway, sorry about my rant. Hope you like this chapter even though it was choppy.


	3. Chapter 2: Introduction to Lesbian Jesus

May As Well Been What It Looked Like: the FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 2

Ayeka closed the door behind her when entering the FanFic Critic's room. It's been only a few days since they've started reviewing. They were to watch the FanFic Critic's previous reviews (a total of 501 YouTube videos and then some) and the good news is, they were able to finish in those few days. However, she didn't expect to see this through...

Ginka was wearing the FanFic Critic's clothes. Well, seeing he entered this new dimension only wearing his undergarments (to the inconvenience on how pushy Chika was to get him out of the door), Ayeka understood why. Though, Ginka never looked so masculine cross dressing before. Then again, anyone can pull off the black suit and white shirt outfit.

However, he was watching a video. The video had Ayeka and Tenchi... and Ayeka was giving Tenchi the Juraiyan Bridegroom Treatment. They were only slides of her torturing Tenchi. However, Ayeka started to apologize.

"Oh Ginka! Please let me apologize! That was..."

Ayeka didn't like the face he made. He had his eyebrows furrowed as if he was disgusted and disappointed, and yet he had a smile on his face. Ayeka thought that was the face of a man who was force to try a new dish and was ready to spit it out, but first trying to lie about how it tasted.

"So you're fine with beating up Tenchi, but you made a big deal to Chika about how hurting me was bad?"

"I only did it once, Ginka! You have to believe me!", Ayeka sobbed.

"I'm not mad... I mean, you didn't know I was the possible descendant of a demon that rampaged the Earth thousands of years back. I might as well know something dark about you as well.", Ginka smirked, trying not to sound like he was disappointed.

"Ginka... I'm sorry... Please... Let's watch something else... I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

"I'm surprised you're the type to wear the pants in the relationship though.", Ginka said, now sounding less disappointed and now giggling at Ayeka for looking so serious in front of him.

"Pants? You know I'm not wearing pants, Ginka. What are you saying?"

Ginka replied, "You know what I mean..."

Ayeka then realized Ginka was still referring to the video. She shook her head and bit her lip in disappointment.

"Let's... Move on to another video.", Ayeka muttered, trying to search through another video. She blushed as she realized her hand was over Ginka's as they hit the search tab.

Susan kicked open the door.

"Well... You unexpected lovebirds are doing something interesting."

"STOP SAYING WE'RE LOVERS!", Ayeka and Ginka both yelled in unison.

"Either way, I predict they'll be more apprentices to come. Seeing most of the people are at least above the Age of 13... I'm trying to pinpoint who the next characters are. And Ginka... Get out of the FanFic Critic's clothes."

"But then I'll be naked!", Ginka squealed blushing.

"I'd rather that you're naked than the FanFic Critic. Besides... Maybe I can figure out a way to teleport your clothes here.", Susan then muttered.

"Or we can just go shopping! Isn't that a great idea?", Ginka asked, looking at Ayeka with his bright blue eyes, wide like a child's when they're scared.

"Actually... Now that I think about it...", Ayeka muttered.

"Yes?"

"Exactly. Ginka, you don't care if you're wearing a dress, right?"

"Does Ayeka want to see me in a dress?", Ginka gasped in surprise.

"Yes. It's trying to make it up to you for scarring you for life."

"Oh Ayeka! You're such a sweet friend to tell me I can wear one in front of you!", Ginka smiled.

"Now hurry up! It's not going to be long before the FanFic gets here and sees you've been wearing her clothes, Ginka.", Susan growled. She then pushed Ginka in the closet.

"I'm presuming that was his childhood for most of his life?", Ayeka asked for a moment.

"Very funny!", Susan hissed at Ayeka, however Ginka couldn't help but let a giggle slip out of his lips.

Ginka slowly got out, wearing a blue frilly dress (the ones you see Southern Belles in old movies wear.)

"How do I look?", Ginka asked Ayeka. Ayeka then thought of 'Ginkitsune' and how she looked in her pink and red dress the night that they met. How Ayeka's heart started to beat rapidly just by being near her, despite not being a Juraiyan male of royal blood. She shook her head. Of course she was a he; Ginka is 'Ginkitsune'!

"Hey, guys! What did we miss?", Takeo muttered as he walked in the room.

"Ayeka and Ginka had a lover's quarrel about S&M.", Susan smirked.

"Stop saying that! It wasn't like that at all!", Ayeka hissed.

"It's funny you were mentioning Ayeka, Susan. I've found a fan fiction that she'd react badly to.", Aburatsubo noted holding a laptop.

"Ohh boy... Is it about S&M?", Susan asked.

"It's called 'No Need For Secrets', it's by 'Galaxy1001D, Rated T for Teen... and ships Ayeka with Ryoko.", the FanFic Critic muttered.

Ayeka started to vomit.

"A-a-ah-Ayeka! A-Are you okay?! W-wh-What's wrong?!", Ginka yelped horrified.

"That wench... I'd rather die than be shipped with that woman..."

"Don't worry... I'm not into being shipped with you either.", the blonde woman, Ryoko Ookami declared.

"Wrong Ryoko, once again!", the FanFic Critic hissed.

"Geez! I'm sorry! I know how you westerners like to use our first names.", Ookami hissed.

"Seems a bit legit.", Jean and Nadia nodded.

"So... How are we going to do this?", Takeo muttered, his nose starting to bleed excessively from the thought of lesbians.

The FanFic Critic flashed back to the thought of MasterSaruwatari's fanfiction where she was shipped with Susan. How she felt also affected Susan, but only indirectly as she hasn't told Susan what happened.

_"My God!", the FanFic Critic yelled after vomiting excessively. _

_ Susan was at the door to the bathroom._

_ "What happened?", Susan asked quizzically._

_ "It's another bad fan fiction. Don't worry about it.", she muttered._

_ "It seemed to be so bad, you're in here right now occasionally using the toilet for a spittoon.", Susan noted as the FanFic Critic tried to spit the puke out of her mouth in it._

_ "I don't want to talk about it.", the FanFic Critic muttered. _

_"Very well, then. I'll leave you be...", Susan sighed as she walked out. The FanFic Critic knew she would find out eventually why she did this. She hadn't puked since Cloud Mows the Lawn. The thought of being placed in a lesbian relationship unwillingly baffled her._

The FanFic Critic realized this is how Ayeka's reacting right now. Even worse, she's been shipped with Ginka in her original fan fiction, someone she hasn't even expecting. It was just pancakes piling up until they were going to fall down and Ayeka would soon snap and destroy everyone.

"How about we read something else.", Sae then replied.

"Good plan, Sae.", Takeo noted, just looking at Ayeka now in an 'I feel your pain' expression.

"At least we know not every fan fiction with us in it is actually any good.", Femio then smiled.

"Of course you'll know that's what you're getting out of with that experience, you fruit.", Susan scowled at Femio, who slowly inched away from her in worry she would try to murder him.

In another dimension...

Harley was startled. He was not expecting so many faces in his house. Why was he saying this? Well, these were total strangers.

A blonde haired boy wearing a white sailor hat, red and yellow shirt, and light blue pants and shoes was sobbing for Harley to help him find his whale, 'Bubbie'. A bald Hispanic boy wearing sun glasses, a red turtleneck, and khaki shorts was studying his room and seeing if he left any 'traps'. Iris from the Unova region tried to tell Harley of news about 'Team Plasma' and how they were planning to take the Pokemon in Hoenn away from their trainers, which included him. Why is he gritting his teeth in disgust? Well, it's obvious; Harley HATED children, and here are three of them raiding his house.

There were three more children, much older and a little less irritable, but followed Iris here. They dressed like waiters in a cafe and they were polite. Cilan, Cress, and Chili were trying to control Iris and the blonde and telling them to 'Let Harley digest everything', and 'One at a time!' Harley was about to pass out.

Then there were the three adults that were accompanying them.

The first was 'Sentai Pink', a blonde tan-skinned man stating to be a 'Hentai Sentai' or 'Weirdo Ranger' since Harley didn't speak Japanese. He had silver eyes, and presumed to be Hispanic. He was obviously gay, and Harley didn't seem to mind, seeing he too was of that orientation. However, he wished he'd take off that stupid sombrero; He kept reminding him of a Shiny Ludicolo.

The second was a mad scientist with a thick Yiddish accent. He had blue hair and his entire outfit was shades of blue, with the black belt. He had golden goggles, pale skin, and golden claws for hands. Sentai Pink was both hitting on him and 'stopping him from doing anything that would threaten the city of Slateport'.

Finally, another tagalong of Iris', Burgh. Burgh was an artist and his light brunette hair was surprisingly better looking than most of the other Co-Ordinators that he's faced. He was surprised he was a Gym Leader though; He was the most fashionably dressed out of everyone combined. He had yellow-greens and red-violets in his outfit, implying that Burgh knew what he was saying when he said he was an artist. Burgh used Bug-types which also baffled Harley, since most people are scared of them. His lime green eyes beamed with joy when he saw his Ariados, though. Harley couldn't complain as much with the adults though.

"How... Did you guys get here?", Harley asked, a little irritated.

Everyone stood silent as Harley finally spoke.

"I mean... First of all, what's a whale, Second, why am I the chosen one to stop Team Plasma, and finally, why are you guys searching my house?"

Then the blonde boy replied, "A whale is a giant marine mammal... Bubbie's a blue one."

"Then just say that she's a Waillord!", Harley groaned.

"She's not! She's a girl! Bubbie raised me all by herself!", the boy cried out.

"A Waillord raised you.", Harley was unable to believe it.

"No! A whale did!"

Harley rolled his eyes, "Whatever, you can stay here if you like, but whatever you do, don't insult my Pokemon."

The boy smiled.

"Well, guess I gotta teach you about the sea!", he beamed.

Then he tried to open Harley's door. They could not do it.

"What?! Harley! Your door!", he sobbed.

Little did Harley know, this was a strange plan of Lesbian Jesus's. Harley gasped as he opened the windows outside. It was like what he thought was the outdoors of Slateport City turned out to be just posters glued to the windows. What was really out of his window was an island. There were 'lush greenery' (actually just dead grass) and a giant abyss that stretched the ocean, as if it dried up while Harley was debating whether to choke the children or not.

"Are you confused?"

Harley turned and gasped. It was a beardless Jesus. She had long brown hair and the only way Harley could tell she was female was by her soothing Jesus-like voice being higher pitched.

"Who are you?"

"I'm just a wanderer. I stumbled upon this crack-fic being made and I am here to prevent it from going any further."

"Crack Fic?"

"Como?", Sentai Pink asked.

"Interesting... Is that something Doktor Frogg is making? Or something another adult is planning...", the bald boy finally asked, holding a heavy British accent.

"Anyone can make a crack-fic. But so far, this one is made by an adult. So yes, you can growl at the fact your universe has been screwed over.", the woman smiled, now being monotone, like a robot.

"Is this... the Apocalypse?", Harley asked.

"It can be whatever you want. Of course, seeing I've intercepted this fan fiction on my travels, I might as well monitor you all. After all, you were victims affected by the crack fiction."

"Que mierda?!" Sentai Pink cursed in Spanish as he kicked Harley's coffee table in disgust. His kick was strong enough to break it. After all, he is a Weirdo Ranger.

"There's no way out of this crack-fic!", Nigel roared.

"No worries. At least you survived. Also, Harley... There are worse fan fictions than this one. I will now rest here while you discuss these matters with your newly acquired friends."

Iris then smiled, "Let's watch TV!"

"Great idea! We should pass the time while a FUCKING DEITY just sent us through a Pos-Apocalyptic future just to prevent even dumber shit from happening! Let's just introduce ourselves and socialize. A lot better than television on the priority list.", Sentai Pink roared sarcastically with a mild Chicano accent.

"Well, you already know me...", Doktor Frogg growled.

"I'm Harley. Harley Totemo. I'm a Pokemon Co-Ordinator from Slateport City.", Harley replied, flipping his purple hair around as his teal eyes looked at everyone attentively.

"I'm Sentai Pink. I used to live in Maybe Tokyo, a small town in the middle of nowhere.", Sentai Pink smiled, then addressed Harley specifically in a sultry whisper, "but you can call me 'Pinky' anytime."

"I'm Cilantro Striaton.", Cilan, the green haired boy with small beady eyes smiled.

"I'm Cress Striaton.", Cress, the timid blue haired boy with long bangs grinned.

"That makes me Chili Striaton!", the energetic red-head named Chili smiled.

"That makes us the Striaton City Gym Leaders!", The three boys said in unison.

"I'm also a Gym Leader. Call me Burgh.", Burgh smiled.

"I'm a Gym Leader in a way. I'm Iris!", Iris announced.

They looked at the strangers. They knew nothing about Pokemon.

"Well... Uh...", Doktor Frogg muttered nervously, "I'm Doktor Frogg... Sadly since most of you... good guys... are well... good guys... I guess this will be awkward..."

"Awkward? Elaborate, por favor...", Sentai Pink grinned devilishly.

_At least he's not Doomageddon... but he'll still give me Hell..._, Doktor Frogg thought, not amused by Sentai Pink leaning over him like a cat about to catch a mouse.

"I'm a supervillain!", he growled, deciding maybe to cure it is to choke the pretty boy in the spandex. The boy dodged and punched his gut.

"Well, it looks like in this universe, the adults aren't that bad... Anyway, I'm Nigel Uno. I would explain more BUT... You adults would never understand.", the bald boy announced, crossing his arms.

They turned to the blonde boy, who looked up for a moment.

"I'm Flapjack. I..."

He began to sob, "I miss my home! I miss Bubbie! I miss Captain K'nuckles! I miss the docks!"

He started to cry. Nigel could tell Flapjack was younger than him, but he didn't know by how much. He saw Iris though try to calm him down.

"There, there...", Iris muttered, "I miss Grandpa Drayden too..."

The woman smiled, "Glad you guys are breaking the ice. Most people don't introduce people to each other like this. Anyway, it was better than discovering more and more of the victims of the crack fiction... Good news is, to fit them in, this house would grow slowly and slowly. The bad news is, it's not confirmed how many will be here."

Their eyes widened.

"Shall we clean the house in the meantime?", Burgh asked.

"No, cooking food is a more hospitable option.", Cilan noted.

"What's in your fridge, Harley? We'll make it into a meal.", Cress muttered.

"Time to get the frying pan!", Chili smiled.

"Oh, God...", Harley hissed.

Back in the house of the FanFic Critic, she was debating whether or not to confront everyone about a fan fiction about her. They were saddened that she would tell them that bad fan fictions about them exist. Ginka, not so much because he learned his show wasn't that popular, and he is lucky because not only was he a minor character in the fan fictions that were there, but they were actually a lot better than 'the Magic User's Club on Jerry Springer'.

"Let's read another Twilight fan fiction. At least that isn't one where Sae and her best friend, Nanaka, are lesbian lovers I'm trying to hook up via blackmail.", Aburatsubo muttered.

"I thought you would like that.", Susan snarked, "Especially since you always want to get into Takeo's pants."

"At least I am trying to defend her friend's honor; She's not interested in girls.", Aburatsubo replied, "She's told me herself that she liked me. I had to reject her politely because my heart was reserved for Takeo."

"Smooth.", Susan smirked sarcastically.

"Don't get cocky.", Aburatsubo then said, his patience for the British goth waning slowly.

"Ladies... Let's not fight... Everyone knows, the only solution is to take it out on moi...", Femio smiled, "After all... I love you all..."

Aburatsubo gasped as the smaller boy hugged him and Susan so tenderly.

"Are you turning into Ginka?", Susan hissed.

"Ah... You compare moi to another man?!", Femio then said, now starting to get irritated by Susan. Aburatsubo was taken aback. Susan is trying even Femio's patience. And it's been going downward faster than Aburatsubo's.

"Much better...", Susan smirked as she caressed Femio's face.

"FanFic Critic is shivering...", Sae then muttered, interrupting Susan from showing the tempers of Femio and Aburatsubo.

"Hey guys... Have you ever read 'Insanely In Love'?", the FanFic Critic smiled, thinking of a good punishment for Aburatsubo and Femio engaging with Susan. It just made the moment worse.

"No...", Aburatsubo shook his head, sounding scared.

"It's a troll fan fiction... and you and Femio should read it together. Sort of some male bonding time... Don't take it the wrong way though. It might be yaoi, but it should FAR from get you guys together.", she grinned, a little disgusted that Aburatsubo surprisingly had that innocent reaction when his mind is dirty when it involves Takeo.

"Oh no... What have you done...", Susan groaned.

"Don't worry... It's not like they have to use their tongues to clean the rugs.", she grinned.

"At least it's not 'Call Me Sir', where they fuck with the male anatomy.", Susan smirked, looking that the androgynous boys.

Ginka heard Aburatsubo and Femio were being punished for getting slowly out of character because Susan was irritating them.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT THEM!"

"Umm... Ginka?"

"You're obviously going to traumatize them! We should read something else!"

"No... They're going to read that fan fiction, and it's obviously going to be bad! Let me cover Femio's eyes if it gets mature at least!", Ginka screamed, like an Apocalypse Maiden willing to sacrifice herself to save the world.

"...Fine... Let the masochist read a man's penis getting cut off.", Susan smirked.

The FanFic Critic couldn't picture Ginka reading the fan fiction; Due to the story's content, the torturing would traumatize Ginka even more than Aburatsubo and Femio combined. He may be the oldest male of the group (being 23 years old), but it was still disgusting to see a sweet innocent homosexual boy going in the fetal position like if Ryoshi gets stared down and getting groped by a complete stranger.

"No. Let's not.", the FanFic Critic remembered, now getting what Susan was saying.

"Okay. Aburatsubo, Femio... Prepare your retinas.", Susan smirked as she pulled the boys to the computer screen as they then gasped at the horrors of their fan fiction.

A few minutes, Femio and Aburatsubo read each paragraph of the fan fiction, the boys then gasping in horror at the violent tendencies of Squidward towards Spongebob. They stopped at the same spot the FanFic Critic stopped. Femio was crying like a kid who found out all of his Halloween candy was eaten by his parents. Aburatsubo didn't even whimper. His mind went blank after learning that this was a children's cartoon that the people made the fan fiction of. He tried to comfort Femio, trying too hard to think of happier things.

"So how did it go?", Susan asked, almost like Aburatsubo and Femio tried a dish.

Aburatsubo sarcastically growled, "It was like eating ice cream... that was on the ground covered in dirt."

"Susan, stop it. And you guys, next time you try to interact with Susan, you'll read four more chapters of that fan fiction. Understand?", she hissed.

Aburatsubo nodded, "Very well then. We'll try to ignore Susan when she does this to us."

"And Susan. We need to talk.", the FanFic Critic muttered.

"Fine...", Susan said, getting up.

The boys were alone on the computer for a moment, Femio still in tears.

"I'm presuming we'll never talk to Susan again, seeing it ruins our names just to get irritated by her.", Aburatsubo noted.

"A true punishment for getting mad over nothing.", Femio smiled, trying to sound intelligent, but failing when his voice cracked from the crying.

"Let's read something a little bit more better... like that Goose Princess story that Duck and you don't seem to mind.", Aburatsubo smiled, "Even if it's cheesy, hopefully you can feel better knowing there's a chance Duck likes you."

Femio smiled, but still shedding tears, "Yes... Let's..."

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

Okay... So I had this idea of another ridiculously stupid crossover. But I have a problem; I promised the FanFic Critic I would only stick her with 15 apprentices, instead of anymore than that. I mean, yeah.

Then I realized, 'Lesbian Jesus' hasn't shown up yet! So here, she 'kidnaps' 10 characters, and she is expecting more. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but hopefully this introduction of her will be the only example of her interesting-ness.

(I sat through her LustKlock review, and obviously, me and my boyfriend shivered when she tried to give me the eyebrow wiggle and talked about tearing up shirts.)

I had a deleted scene where Flapjack requests Lesbian Jesus to read him a bed time story. If you want it in the next chapter, you can tell me. My boyfriend is also helping me proofread my story. So hopefully the next few chapters would be better. I'm still behind on my fan fiction writing though. So, I may be late on this one. Thank you for reading this!


	4. Chapter 3: OH GOD WHY!

Don't Call Me Sir, Call Me Your Highness: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 3

* * *

The King of Armoroad never would have thought to be the captive of pirates. The purple haired young adult (by appearance) male sat on a bed they gave them to sleep in at the very near bottom of the ship. His purple eyes scanned the room. There was a desk and a bookshelf the same exact mahogany color of the walls and the floor of the chamber. The only things that stood out was the amber-lit oil lamp that the pirates gave him and the manilla paper that Seyfried can use to write an S.O.S.

His bed had flannel sheets, something new to the king as it was surprisingly soft. He finally decided to lay down, He can tell by the smell this used to be where they carried the food during their travels. The tan-skinned prince can guess by the holes in the ceiling that it was night time.

He thought a bit on how he got to this predicament.

* * *

_He returned to Armoroad after a long journey with his sister. He didn't know why he returned though, as he thought he was to never go back seeing he was an artificial human made by the tree of Yggdrassil, and therefore no longer a normal king. But something in his gears told him he had to return. He had to reward the travelers that have killed off the god in the lowest stratum of the Yggdrassil Labyrinth, the one god that was worshipped by the Deep Ones. _

_ Since they were two pirates, a young boy prince, a feral Wildling, and a young monk, Seyfried expected the payment to be monetary. After all, 2/5 of a party being known for raiding ships for money can't go wrong. However, it was completely unexpected they would refuse the money._

_ "Lord Seyfried, you know our tastes too well, but...", the female pirate, a buxom lass with pink hair, snow white skin, eyes the color of the sea, and an hourglass figure muttered when her brother, a red-headed drunkard grabbed his entire body and laying it over his shoulder like a shepherd grabbing a ready-to-shear sheep and started running to the harbor._

_ "We were hoping you would be the reward!", the male pirate slurred, his only well-kept strands of hair in his body, the braided beard, rubbing against his armor as he realized he was being chased by his royal guard, Olympia. _

_ The rest of the party, the blonde haired little boy in regal blue and white clothes, a brown haired feral girl wearing the furs of a strange purple beast that once existed, and a monk with glasses and a jet black bowl cut and braid, were warding off her attacks as he cried for help, especially from his sister, Gutrune. Gutrune tried, but the Wildling blocked her hands with a shield._

* * *

That's when he realized it. He taught the guild so well and maybe because they slain the Deep Ones' God, they thought to themselves that they were invincible, even by law. Then again, he would expect that from pirates as young as they were.

Then the door to his room was kicked open.

"'Ey, King-ey. Are you alright?"

The red-headed pirate that captured him before grinned at him.

"Well, you gave me time to cope with my kidnapping.", the king muttered sarcastically.

"Aww, don't play hard to get on me... Remember, you said that you weren't an ordinary human, so you didn't want to stay in Armoroad very long anyway.", the red-headed male grinned as he started to disarm Seyfried.

"Why are you undressing me?", Seyfried asked, now looking scared.

"Well, why not? You're going to be our reward, right? Might as well enjoy you while you last. I don't know how long until you will die, especially since I don't know much about Yggdroids and their physiology.", the red-headed man smiled as he started to snog him. Seyfried was about to pass out; his breath tasted of old booze and cheap whiskey.

"That's it, huh? So the reason why you kidnapped me wasn't for money, right?", Seyfried asked, when the pirate finally got his tongue out of his mouth.

"No shit, Sherlock. Now let me finish undressing you; Your squirming doesn't do me any good."

Seyfried gasped as the pirate started to nibble him, as he finally removed his armor. He wondered why he wasn't fighting back, why he felt like he was powerless to even attack him for what he was doing to him, when he remembered he can slay Deep Ones taller and stronger than he was.

"Now... don't be scared, Lord Seyfried, because this was something I always wanted to do since I first laid eyes on you.", the male pirate smirked as he then decided to remove his undergarments next.

"So you are going to deflower me just like that, huh?", Seyfried then groaned cynically.

"You have such pretty eyes...", the male pirate grinned.

"At least let me agree to what you're doing before you start having your way with me.", Seyfried growled, not amused by letting the pirate violating him when he is already feeling vulnerable.

"You're starting to look like an angry cat, Lord Seyfried...", he chuckled as his eyes looked at him again.

Seyfried made sure he clung tightly to the remaining clothes he had on as a means to keep them on from the pervert in question.

"You know, I'd like it for you to boss me around, but first, can you do something for me?", the male pirate smiled as he pulled his hand into Seyfried's underwear to play around what it was covering with it for a while.

"What is it...", Seyfried asked as he started to moan. He didn't understand it, this feeling of vulnerability that he was in.

"Meow for me while I do this...", he smirked as he grabbed on him harder.

Seyfried closed his eyes, trying to let out a meow, but instead, they were smaller moans and roars for him to stop.

"Lord Seyfried, it's no wonder you ask us to do things for you when you can't do something for us in return.", the pirate started to chuckle, "but seeing it was our fault for once, I can't blame you for not meowing just once."

Seyfried noticed he kept on playing with him for a while and when he felt something release out of his member, he finally meowed loud and clear.

"Ah... That's interesting, you did it when you climaxed...", the pirate then said in surprise.

"G-get out. Now...", Seyfried hissed as he started to cry.

The pirate looked scared as he did as he was told. He closed the door as he did so as Seyfried began to cry. What was he doing? Why did he do that? And why did he get kidnapped like this? He rolled over to the wall and broke down in tears on the bed.

* * *

Ayeka and Takeo just sat there after reading this story as she turned to Takeo with a confused look.

"What in God's name did I just read?", Ayeka asked.

"I heard from the FanFic Critic it was one of those 'rape-fics'."

"I actually felt bad for that king!", Ayeka roared, a little unamused.

"Well... I uh...", Takeo muttered, now picturing Sae and Aburatsubo as pirates and he was the captive Seyfried.

"Takeo, snap out of it, right now.", Ayeka hissed.

"Yes, ma'am!", Takeo then shivered remembering Ayeka was right next to him, and how he learned she wasn't fond of him fantasizing.

"Good. Now, someone told me that this King Seyfried and the other characters in this... 'rape fic' will appear from another fan fiction made by the same author that... didn't have such graphic content.", Ayeka muttered.

Ayeka never played Etrian Odyssey 3 before, so she did some research. From Let's Plays of the game to the Etrian Odyssey wiki, to forums of the sorts, Ayeka came to the conclusion that Seyfried may as well be a male version of her to some extent. Both of them wanted to exterminate their enemies for separating them from a normal life. However, Ayeka noticed right away that Seyfried was supposedly a Terran so she shouldn't ask him for his hand, especially since he's now some sort of Automaton creation. She had a hard time picturing anyone making love to Pinocchio, to the point she went to a garbage can to puke.

"Actually, Ms. Ayeka, technically he still is a human, but an artificial one. You shouldn't feel too grossed out that he did this to himself to protect his kingdom. If anything, you should swoon in admiration.", Takeo noted.

"Shut up, Takeo! I was in space for 600 years! That's why I look so young despite knowing much more than you!", Ayeka hissed.

"Wow... PMSing, much.", Takeo teased. Ayeka and Takeo started to argue and Ginka walked in.

"Awww! Ayeka! You and Takeo look like siblings quarreling!", Ginka giggled.

Ayeka turned in shock to see Ginka, who was wearing a black, form fitting outfit. He had worn a top that shaped around his chest like a bat. His black capris matched well with it, as it emphasized his curves surprisingly well. He wore a red-violet collar which matched his high heels, and a headband he decided to wear.

"Umm... Ginka? Why are you dressed as Vivi from Braindead 13?", Takeo asked.

"I wanted to dress up as a sexy girl for Takeo!", Ginka replied.

Ayeka didn't know why she was so heated, if not mad at Ginka for hitting on Takeo. Before she can react, Aburatsubo did so for her.

"I'm flattered you're trying to keep Takeo happy, but you're a little out of his league.", Aburatsubo hissed, his usual jealous way, wrapping his arms around Takeo as if getting possessive over him.

Ginka didn't know how to react to Aburatsubo. He just appeared as if like a swift ninja.

"Well, at least Ayeka appreciates it, don't you, sugar!", Ginka smiled.

"Sugar?", Ayeka was confused. Ginka's been sounding different ever since he was with Ayeka in the FanFic Critic's universe. There was a bit of 'southern twang' in his voice right now and it started to confuse Ayeka.

"Oh yeah... Ginka never was dubbed in English. So maybe this universe is slowly affecting him when he watches something in English...", Takeo remembered, as he remembered trying to look up vixens from other franchises, with Ginka overlooking the clip of Vivi trying to kill Lance with her many devices.

"Ah... Dubbed? What does that mean?", Ayeka asked.

"The FanFic Critic explained it to me. Seeing our original franchises were in Japanese, when we're speaking English right now, that's called a 'dubbed voice'. For instance, did you know your voice is a British accent?", Takeo asked as he pointed at Ayeka's mouth.

Ayeka never thought about that, "Ah... I didn't know that."

"Some people aren't lucky with dubbing, but a lot of times, people try to keep our stories intact otherwise.", Takeo muttered.

"Can you elaborate more on that later, Takeo?", Aburatsubo asked.

"Yeah... What about it?"

Aburatsubo then pointed at the new faces that appeared. There was a king trying to push two pirates and a girl in tribal clothes off of him as their lips were trying to prepare for kissing him. A young prince was hugging him and a monk started to groan disgusted, looking like Susan walking in on Ginka and Ayeka just conversing about general things.

"Oh my God!", Takeo gasped in awe.

The blonde haired prince tried to speak but his voice showed up as a talk bubble instead, "How funny. I thought this Warp Wire was going to take us back to Armoroad!"

"Oh God...", the monk hissed.

The king turned to see Takeo trembling with his finger pointed at him.

"Ah! I don't remember you being citizens of Armoroad!", was what the King tried to hiss, but he was muted, and instead, he had a talk bubble replace his voice.

"Ehehe... What's the worse that could happen? This guy doesn't even have a voice...", Takeo muttered feeling bad for him.

Then Aburatsubo smiled, "I don't think Seyfried wants to read this fan fiction, so let's have them look at something else."

Aburatsubo was quick to refer to the erotic fan fiction that was about Seyfried.

"What is this fan fiction you speak of?!", Seyfried muttered confused.

"You'll learn about it when we don't have to turn around to know what you have to say all the time.", Aburatsubo groaned, as Seyfried was hard to understand otherwise when he is mute and talk bubbles are the only way to get his voice heard.

Seyfried did not look amuse.

"Maybe we can test this real quickly.", Takeo muttered as he decided he might as well get some franchises under his belt in this universe, that being Battle Spirits and YuGiOh! GX, as a means to compare and contrast the former being so obscure it hasn't been dubbed yet, and the latter, which has been surprisingly popular to make fan fiction of in the Anime category, only having 6,200 fan fictions and still counting.

* * *

A few days of marathoning through both the shows in their Japanese Dub and YuGiOh! GX in its English dub, Takeo turned to see Seyfried and the others conversing in Japanese, with occasionally hearing the cheesiest English dialogue Takeo could even imagine.

"We can waste more days educating them.", Takeo smirked as he decided to watch Homestuck fan dubs, which surprisingly were on the recommended list.

The FanFic Critic was too busy to push Takeo off the computer, as she had to get Yuka and Sasami ready for school.

"YAY! School!", Sasami smiled as Yuka eyed her excitement. Hopefully Yuka's first day in this universe's schools would be a lot better than her first day in her original universe's.

As they walked in so casually out the door, the FanFic Critic closed it as the FanFic Critic looked at Ginka wearing the skimpy black outfit still, watching the episode of My Little Pony where Applejack was having her Apple Family Reunion. The FanFic Critic had no idea that Ginka's Southern twang was going to be emphasized a lot more from this.

"Aw great...", Susan groaned, who heard in on the introduction of Ginka's acquired Southern twang, "Like we need our transsexual masochist to have a Southern Belle accent as well."

"Susan. Don't engage with him.", the FanFic Critic hissed, remembering last time she did so, people went out of character to get mad at her. Seeing Ginka can get mad (and when he did, it never was pretty), she didn't want Ginka to sound like he was giving them a speech from Good Fellas. After all, he was once a member of the yakuza, and seeing he was once a part of the mob, the FanFic Critic feared Ginka getting mad the most.

"Now what are y'all sugarcubes fightin' about, now?", Ginka asked as 'Raise this Barn' started to play in the background.

"Obviously fighting about whether or not we should keep you sane or not.", the FanFic Critic replied. She remembered giving Susan a long talk about trying to keep the men in character or not, however, it felt like Susan wasn't paying attention at all during that time. However, the FanFic Critic was baffled by Ginka's newly acquired country boy accent.

"Well, back at home, I don't think there ever was such a thing as bein' sane or not, so you guys can go on resumin' yer little chit-chat. You girls ain't botherin' me one bit.", Ginka smiled as he resumed to watch My Little Pony.

The FanFic Critic and Susan then growled at each other but seeing Ginka was quick to get used to his new home and the environment it was in. Occasionally one of the FanFic Critics cats jumped on his stomach to get some pets from him, but as another episode rolled in, the FanFic Critic and Susan learned that Ginka was obviously going to be a Brony.

Susan switched the channel when the commericials rolled in, and the Little Shop of Horrors was on, and of course, a lot of people in that movie had a New York accent there, so the FanFic Critic started to choke Susan because he's making Ginka's speech patterns get even more messed up than before!

Now that Susan thought about it, Ginka had some resemblance to Audrey from it right now. No, not the hideous man eating plant, but the girl s/he was named after, the blonde haired abuse victim who wished for a normal life outside of Skid Row. Susan switched the channel back to My Little Pony, when the commercials ended. The episode where Babs Seed played and now Susan realized Ginka would eventually switch from a New York accent to a southern twang in no time.

"I should have thought this through...", Susan hissed.

When trying to listen to Takeo on their first lesson about the world of fan fiction, Seyfried couldn't help but overhear Twilight Sparkle's dialogue downstairs. When Seyfried began to spoke though, because of that, he started to sound like a male version of him.

"So you're telling me that we are from a 'franchise' that people will tend to enjoy enough to make stories of our misadventures if they were to make it in their eyes?", Seyfried asked, finally in English that didn't sound cheesy enough to make Takeo want to pull his hair.

"Why yes... You can say that.", Takeo grinned, not mentioning the 'rape-fic' to Seyfried.

"I'm very flattered, but how would they knew what they wrote actually happened?", Seyfried asked.

"They don't really happen in the fan fiction. That's why it's called fan fiction. It didn't really happen in your story so you shouldn't worry about any of that stuff happening to you. No sir-ree! You totally will only feel uncomfortable when you're questioning the author's mentality!"

"Uh-huh...", Seyfried thought sarcastically to Takeo's comment.

"Trust me on this one, I had to learn the whole fan fiction thing from the FanFic Critic!", Takeo announced.

"Let's review one as an example.", Seyfried smiled.

"Review one? Well, okay... But the one I'm about to show you isn't that great.", Takeo replied then showing him and his company a Pokemon fan fiction where Burgh had bondage sex with the female playable character in Pokemon Black and White. Takeo's nose began to bleed.

"Okay... That totally didn't happen!", Takeo explained to Seyfried.

"I see... So the character named Burgh didn't really ask if she liked honey and it didn't result to... this...", Seyfried muttered looking horrified and disgusting.

"Well, we can reenact it if you want.", the pink haired woman smirked as she played with Seyfried's hair for a bit.

"Nadjaki say no; Bees sting and honey hard to clean up.", the brunette tan-skinned Wildling hissed.

"Well, at least you can still clean it up.", the male red-headed pirate grinned, "Besides, as long as Seyfried's okay with it, we can do anything."

Seyfried turned to his admirers and potential rapists with a death glare, "Now look, if you're going to pretend I'm not here, then you might as well at least think about what you're thinking. Besides. I don't think I'll enjoy what you guys have planned for me unless you tell me what you're going to do to me. Even then, I'll question it... So don't get any ideas from this."

The three faces looked down in shame. Their king ruled with an iron fist and it showed, both figuratively AND literally.

"Now... Have any less... sexually explicit examples?", Seyfried asked.

The 12-year-old prince was about to barf from what he just witnessed, however, he realized he's seen worse from going through the labyrinth and seeing bloodied corpses and a giant tentacle monster that they almost died from.

"Well, yeah. Have you ever heard of Peter Pan?", Takeo asked.

"No, why?", Seyfried asked.

"Ehh... Just wondering.", Takeo replied as he started to read them Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Red Fairy to them. Hopefully it was a little bit better than Burgh getting a handjob and a blowjob in one simple fan fiction.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Woo boy! I uploaded Chapter 2 without editing it. My mistake! So please forgive me again for screwing this one up. Also, Sorry again for starting this off with a rape scene, FanFic Critic. I was trying to show Ayeka and Takeo an example of a rape-fic and who else but an insane Seyfried fangirl to write one.


	5. Chapter 4: Not-So Royal Pains

The Regality of Silence: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 4

* * *

Seyfried sat alone in the kitchen, trying to have some tea.

"Hello there, Seyfried..."

Seyfried spilled his tea in surprise. It was Nadia, her emerald green eyes staring at him.

"Ah! Nadia... You completely startled me!"

"I know... But... There was something I have to ask you..."

Seyfried looked puzzled.

"Don't you... Miss your family?"

Seyfried was astonished by that question coming out of Nadia.

"Well... I have missed my sister for as long as I can remember. But... How can I put it..."

"You miss her even now, don't you...", Nadia muttered.

Seyfried collapsed into tears; He sobbed so loudly that the FanFic Critic could hear him when she was recording her reviewing. Everyone else was out and about so they wouldn't bother her. It was planned that way so the FanFic Critic can still keep the facade of having a normal web show critiquing fan fiction.

"I know... At least you knew your sister...", Nadia said, crying with him, "I thought my entire family was dead. I wasn't expecting to meet my father, let alone watch him die twice... and my brother? Well..."

Nadia couldn't tell Seyfried that he looked a lot similar to him. That would make the situation even more awkward. Venusis also probably won't like being compared to a stranger that she just met a few days prior to the events of being with the FanFic Critic.

"I'm sorry... I don't know why I'm crying either. I thought that maybe you would like to think about them for a moment..."

"I'm fine, Nadia...", Seyfried smiled, "I just... Never thought about it until you told me. Thank you for reminding me of my..."

Seyfried would feel awkward to say Nadia was like his sister to her. Nadia might not even speak with him for an hour. Gutrune wouldn't like being compared to a mere girl. And this mere girl only had been with him in this house for about a month. What would that entail?

"Nevermind... Don't worry about me, I'll cope with the loss."

Nadia looked back, "You really do miss her... Alright... Just remember, you can always talk to us if you have any troubles. It might be hard for me to communicate with you as well, but maybe you are having troubles as well."

"Thanks for the advice.", Seyfried smiled.

Nadia walked off without saying 'You're welcome'. Just like his sister did. He grinned a little bit as he resumed to drinking tea.

* * *

Back in Lesbian Jesus's new... hideout, Harley sat back, looking at Nigel, Flapjack, and Iris as they were finally fast asleep. Cilan and Cress were making a smoothie while Chili decided to bake something in the oven. Burgh was drawing his... recently found Sewaddle, and that left Sentai Pink bugging the crap out of Doktor Frogg. Harley couldn't help but look at Lesbian Jesus for a moment.

"I don't recommend turning on that TV if I were you...", Lesbian Jesus told him.

"Why?... Did you put it on the lesbian porn channel while I wasn't looking?", Harley asked.

"As erotic as it sounds for you to find out, Harley, that isn't why..."

"Whatever..."

He turned on the TV, and suddenly screamed in horror as six faces fell out of the TV, and afterwards, there was an image of Ash in a threesome between Anabel from Pokemon Battle Frontier (Pokemon Emerald in the games), and N from Pokemon Black and White (Episode N, the anime coming soon...). Harley turned off the TV.

"WHAT... THE FUCK... WAS THAT?...", Harley asked.

The first person to wake up is a light teal haired boy who wore really small glasses that surprisingly was supposed to have his bright, child-like silver eyes look up to see Harley.

"I warned you about the TV, Harley. I warned you...", Lesbian Jesus said in a disappointed manner.

The second was a man, with one blue-green eye and half of his face bandaged. He had jet black hair in the style of Wolverine from X-Men, but a lot longer and the side-burns being thinner.

"Oi! What the bloody Hell happened here?", he asked in a thick Australian accent.

The other four people implied to be couples, one being a boy and the girl and the other being two boys. Of course, it could be just people that appeared from a slash fan fiction. They both looked drenched as if they were drowning in a swimming pool or trying to get out of a monsoon.

"Judai...", the girl, a dirty blonde haired woman with D-cups dripping downward as she got up on all fours on top of her brown-haired boyfriend. She had worn a blue and white school uniform while her boyfriend wore red and white.

"Toppa...", one of the boys next to the couple, a boy wearing a white cloak over a pure white uniform, also on all fours on top of a red-orange haired boy wearing a black long sleeved shirt under a red and yellow vest and beige pants. This white-cloaked boy had pale skin, white hair, and he felt like he came from a kingdom of pure ice.

The girl's amber eyes turned to meet the teal eyes of this ice prince.

Then they pushed on their boyfriends, as if giving them CPR.

The two seemingly unconscious boys they were on top of woke up simultaneously, as their lovers jumped off right away. A brunet boy and a red-head were now wide awake and looking around, as if unaware they had lip-to-lip from their loved ones.

"What happened?", The brunet asked.

"Yeah! J and I were pushed into the ocean and we definitely tried to swim back up but I tired out. Something grabbed us...", the orange haired kid yelled, proving that he and his lover were the younger of the couples.

"...like some sort of tentacle monster?", The brunet smiled nervously, "Because that's how Asuka and I got sucked up here!"

"Really?!"

"Yeah!"

"HOLY COW!"

The blonde haired girl looked back at the ice prince, who looked back at her nervously. Their two companions were freaking out as if they were kids trying to tell a story about an event that happened to them to their parents.

Harley felt a little uneasy. He looked to the first two males that woke up. They were just chuckling.

"Wow... Big brother is totally freaking out over something!", the teal-haired boy grinned.

"Croikey. And I thought we were toast after that black blur sucked us in...", the black-haired man smiled.

"But it turned out we were going to be alive anyway!", they both said in unison, as if they've gone mad.

Harley snapped, "Okay, what is going on and why are you laughing? You almost died!"

The teal-haired boy started to cry.

"I know... I was scared..."

The jet black haired man sighed, "It's a miracle that we survived. Thank you, Needles..."

"The name is Harley...", Harley hissed.

Harley was going to learn to tolerate these guys just like he did the children. He had to thank Lesbian Jesus for this, as his sanity was slowly waning.

* * *

In the FanFic Critic's house, Ginka was wearing Rocky's gold briefs as he splayed himself over the bed reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Ayeka walked in surprised.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry..."

"Sorry fer what?", Ginka asked, only mildly blushing, "My daddy told me not to be ashamed of reading books, especially when they're such good size and all."

Ayeka looked at him awkwardly, "Yeah, I see that; Your father gave you good advice."

Susan walked in, "Awww... Are you guys going to kiss or something? The dialogue sounds like you guys ripped it off a really awful fan fic!"

"Shut up, Susan!", Ayeka hissed.

"What's the matter, princess? Never seen golden briefs on a pale slender man before?", Susan asked, as she pointed at what Ayeka was dressed up as. He even had the light blonde hair to go with the briefs. All he needed was the tan skin and the manly abs and Ayeka has found herself something Washu would create when she gets lonely.

She shook her head, "What does that have to do with everything?"

"Well... Seeing Tenchi's alone with that Ryoko woman, you might as well forget about Tenchi and ride the fucking nut job ride at..."

Ayeka punched Susan hard, "Pardon me... My hand slipped..."

Ginka was cringing at the description being portrayed of Voldemort.

"Good lord... What am I readin'!", Ginka shrieked as he then tossed the book at Susan.

"Now Ginka... Why are you half naked?", Ayeka asked.

Ginka blushed as he covered his chest, "W-well... Why would you want to know? I was reading all these Harry Potter books as a mental workout. Ya know how hard it is to lose that 'Southern twang' that Susan and the FanFic Critic were complainin' about?"

Ayeka's eyes widened, "Oh my... So, wearing those gold briefs."

"Rocky's British; That should counter the 'Southern twang', right?"

"Rocky's also a blooming idiot created by a hedonist. And reading all this 'British' stuff isn't going to make you lose that 'Southern twang'. You'd have to watch it too, and also watch shows that don't have a Southern accent in them. It's not that hard?"

"Gee, Ayeka. I had no idea you knew so much more about it than I did.", Ginka smiled.

Ayeka realized how he positioned himself, it emphasized more of his effeminate and somewhat androgynous figure, including his round rump. Ginka surprisingly recovered from all the bruises and whiplash. However, that rump still bugged her... Even if it was one of the few things unexposed from his body, her eyes kept staring.

Ayeka shook her head; She wasn't a pervert. No way. Why would she care about a man's rump?! She shook her head harder. She's not believing this. This was a Terran's rump that she was staring at! It was scandalous!

Ayeka ran out of the room, slamming the door on Susan's hand behind her.

"ERRRRGGGGGGGHHH!", Susan gasped in pain.

Ayeka walked outside for a moment to scream.

"Ayeka! Is something wrong?", Sae asked running out to see what happened.

"Yes, of course there is something wrong with me!", Ayeka hissed, "I stared at that blonde haired... blonde haired... GAHH! I can't even say his name out loud! He is totally tempting me to break from Juraiyan Royalty! I never really wanted to let father know I made the same mistake he did for falling in love with a Terran of no royal bloodline!"

Ayeka was confusing Sae, "Well, Ayeka... You should be fine with that. He may not love you back like you might expect, but I bet you..."

"Yes?"

"That Mr. Ginka will probably like you back if you tell him..."

"Well, I was hoping you would tell me more than that.", Ayeka sighed.

"Well, race shouldn't matter, Miss Ayeka. Love is love, no matter what...", Sae smiled.

"Umm... Is love with a duck..."

"As long as Duck stays in a human form, then Femio's going to like her and that'll be normal. If she does turn to a duck, then we will have to keep Femio in an asylum for zoophilia."

"Ah... Right.", Ayeka muttered, starting to shiver.

Then the FanFic Critic screamed. Ginka's scream soon followed suit.

"What happened, now...", Ayeka muttered.

They ran towards the source of her screaming, and there it was... Susan's hand touched one of Ginka's pecs, and slowly dragged down to his left half of his pelvis, as if he was a window in a horror flick.

"Awww, shit...", the FanFic Critic hissed, "What happened Susan..."

"Ayeka carelessly slammed the door on me, I had to open it back up again, but I wasn't expecting this to happen next."

And Susan showed a bullet on her hand.

"And who would be that good of a marksman?!", Ayeka asked.

* * *

In Lesbian Jesus's hideout, a similar event occurred.

Doktor Frogg's machine was being thwarted by Sentai Pink again. It was starting to get annoying.

"Funny I keep on doing this; My friends and I... Well, we don't usually succeed in missions that involve thwarting mad scientists like you... So I don't know how we should do this... Seeing I did it alone, shall I make steaming hot love with you first, or beat the ever living snot out of you, forgetting all of that.", Sentai Pink muttered as he eyed Doktor Frogg devilishly, revealing his inner sadist towards him.

"Umm... Neither?"

"Coward. That's not how crime fighting works.", Sentai Pink sighed, as if disappointed at how Doktor Frogg isn't fighting back.

"Oh, well guess how it feels like to have your big fat butt on me..."

Sentai Pink glared, and then that's when Doktor Frogg made the big mistake of calling a stereotypical Hispanic gay American 'fat'. Soon, Doktor Frogg was broken...

He tried to raise his now mutilated claws, but then... Something shot through his right claw... A bullet.

He screamed, and Sentai Pink screamed louder.

"Now what has disrupted this not-so-sacred church?", Lesbian Jesus asked as she almost felt like tearing the room apart, like Jesus did in Jerusalem when the citizens used their sacred ground to gamble.

"M-my hand...", Doktor Frogg muttered scared.

"A mad scientist's hand has been shot at... Wow... Good thing there wasn't any blood.", Lesbian Jesus muttered as she muttered the Holy Trinity and began to pray for him.

"Mr. Harley... Is Doktor Frogg going to be okay?", Flapjack asked.

"Of course! In fact, a lot of supervillains these days... Even they have healing factors!", Harley chuckled. Doktor Frogg reminded him of Team Rocket whenever they got defeated by those 'twerps' that they would call May and her little group of friends.

"Wow, Mr. Harley! You're super smart!", Iris smiled.

"He must have done his research...", Nigel grinned, as if impressed by Harley.

Harley blushed. He never had anyone admire him before... However, he didn't like being called smart by a bunch of kids; That's just ruining it for him.

"Well, now... Sentai Pink... Aren't you going a little too far with your 'Preventing Doktor Frogg from doing any evil' plan? I mean, what if you kill him by mistake...", Burgh muttered.

Sentai Pink got closer to Burgh and caressed his face, "Now, Burgh, mi amigo... Would I ever hurt a fly unless I knew it was of cruel intentions?"

Burgh, blushed. He felt so flustered and it didn't seem right. Harley grinned. Sentai Pink wasn't usually such a loverboy... But the good news is, Doktor Frogg was slowly healing up. The bad news is, Doktor Frogg knew to keep an eye on Sentai Pink to make sure he doesn't overhear his schemes. Otherwise, Doktor Frogg is sure to lose his head.

"Was there anything we missed?", Asuka asked Flapjack.

Flapjack nodded, "Doktor Frogg was hurt, but the good news is, he has healing factors. Harley told me all about it!"

Nigel sneaked away from the crowd and got to a computer in time to do some serious research.

* * *

Both Nigel and the FanFic Critic then started to do some research. Then they came across a fan fiction that baffled them. It was a crossover, and one that wasn't really explained very well either...

Braindead 13, an obscure quick-time event based interactive movie video game set in a sci-fi horror parody haunted house, and Kono Danshi Ningyo Hiroimashita, a sweet and quiet love story between a quiet schoolboy and a quirky, wacky merman. They were so unexpected that you didn't even want to know what the plot was about.

The FanFic Critic and Nigel took a read.

Soon, everyone in each household grouped together to watch them read attentively as the beginning was read aloud like a story about to be told.

* * *

Shima and Isaki were very curious about the rebuilt house; It was a house on the top of a hill and the atmosphere seemed more fitting of night-time than day. Isaki, the orange haired merman, stuck close to his blue-haired male companion, shivering in his fins about what was about to catch them. Shima also felt like he was about to shiver too... But it was a dare his friends made him follow. Besides, the two boys would probably feel a lot closer in this experience.

Then something grabbed Isaki.

"Isaki!"

"SHIMAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Isaki was taken away by a purple cloaked minion with ugly pale green skin. Shima grabbed Isaki, and there was a tug of war between him and the hideous green creature, who turned out to have hooks for hands! Isaki should start screaming in pain from the side that attempted to kidnap him, but the good news is, the best way Shima saved him was by detaching Isaki's fins from the abominable beast. He kicked him and they started running.

"Waaaaah, Shimaaaaa... That was scary!", Isaki sobbed, clenching his hands into his shirt as they were on the run from a mysterious creature.

"Yesssss... Good work, Fritz... Once I eat the flesh of the merman, not even LANCE can stop me! That's right, I will challenge him to see if he can defeat an immortal... and once he's killed by an immortal like me!"

Then the mysterious villain began to groan when he started to hiss when he thought about Lance Galahad, the boy who defeated him once upon a time, after he fixed his computer and also insulted him for being an 'average supervillain'. Now that he thought about it, the merman in the picture... If he didn't have blue lower eye-lids, have such blue eyes, have such fair beautiful skin, and have such a fit build, he would look a little bit like Lance... He didn't like though that this merman was clinging onto a normal school boy...

Well, Dr. Nero Neurosis would say he was normal, but his androgynous features, his eyes, as dark as the ocean's abyss, and his strange mole on his cheek... He almost thought he was a girl for a moment. He shook his head. A lot of boys in Japanese anime look like girls anyway. Why did the merman's male lover be any different?!

Whatever... He was going to use Vivi to possibly get either the boy to drop the merman, or the merman to let go of the boy... After all, who would not stop to a vampyric vixen like herself? Sometimes just brute force won't cut it this time around.

* * *

Nigel and the FanFic Critic shook their heads. This fan fiction did not just get taken as seriously as they thought. But they couldn't just say that it was predictable and cliche... At the same time though, something creeped into their thoughts as they heard a gun shot, loud and clear.

They turned. In both ends of the internet, someone was shot and it wasn't very pretty...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Wow. What a night. I was trying to fix a problem with 'What Part of This Is YuGiOh! Town Do They Not Understand?!' as it kept having trouble uploading its latest chapter. What basically happened was that it uploaded Chapter 9, but it was actually Chapter 3 of the FanFic Critic's Apprentices. Who knew?! Well that was fun; Now I know that trying to save Disk Space is only smart if you know what you're doing. (Both chapters were saved as the same title, 'Untitled 42'. Yeah... I should use my Disk Space for more important things.)

Anyway, I gotta go to sleep. Good night and enjoy this new Chapter... But Be Careful... It would have been written in an alternate reality by the people that made 'Insanely In Love'.


	6. Chapter 5: Snipers Ahoy!

The Haunted Houses Written For Slash Fan Fiction: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 5

* * *

The FanFic Critic and Nigel turned.

In the FanFic Critic's house, Sae blocked another gunfire aimed at Susan. Good news is, it only grazed her arm. The bad news is, even Aburatsubo is crowding over her.

"Sae! Why did you do that?! Who did you see?", Aburatsubo asked concerned.

Sae then pointed out the window. There, was the sniper in question.

"Master Chief?", Susan gasped.

"Who is that?", Duck asked, curious.

"He's from a franchise of first person shooters...", Susan replied, a little disgruntled.

"Ah... I had no idea I was being noticed. You see... I'm only after Susan...", Master Chief noted.

"Why her?", Ookami asked.

"She's been hiding a fan fiction of me that was deleted years ago because it was a fan fiction about my death. I wanted to know who the original writer sent to kill me, but the only way I could find out was to kill Susan."

"Susan... Is zis true?", Jean asked, a little scared for her.

Susan nodded, "The Magic Club wasn't the first who was sent into this universe from another fan fiction. In fact, Master Chief was awakened from the fan fiction right before his death, from a simple prayer from the FanFic Critic..."

Seyfried shook his head.

"What's wrong, M'lord?", Alcohol asked, now sounding like a sober man for once.

"So someone's been praying their fantasies become reality. This is why we were sent here... But while who is the obvious question, how is the more important one. How are all these prayers coming true?", Seyfried muttered.

"Well, the best way to get that off of our minds is a simple moment to finish reading this train wreck!", the FanFic Critic hissed. Everyone stood silent, except for Master Chief, who Ookami, Nadjaki, and Alistar quickly grappled his arms to prevent him from doing anything. Ayeka raised her shields.

"Don't you dare think about it...", Ayeka hissed, "...and at least let Susan listen to this lackluster story before you even shoot."

Master Chief stood nervously, "W-wh-what are you?!"

"I'm a Juraiyan. That's all you need to know.", Ayeka muttered, as Ginka slowly started to play with her long locks of purple hair.

* * *

Meanwhile, Nigel turned to see Doktor Frogg hit with another bullet, but this time, it only hit his rear end.

"Croikey... This BLU Engineer won't go down withoutta fight, will he?"

Jim looked up and saw a Sniper cloaked in red in the ventilation systems.

"Now what are you doin' shootin' innocent men up there? C'mon down for a real fight, a cocky bastard!"

The Sniper gasped as he was spotted by the huntsman. What he also didn't notice (Neither did anyone else) was the crocodile sitting on his back, like a back pack. The alligator growled, also looking at him. Seeing the alligator was usually docile laying on her master's back, the reptilian hisses startled the one-eyed teenager. He quickly tried to silence his friend, but she jumped out of his backpack to attack the Sniper in the ventilations.

"Gawww blimey!", the Sniper shouted, trying to shoot the alligator, but she pounced on him, crunched on his rifle, and tossed the gun downward.

"Karen! Get down here, this instant!", Jim shouted, now sounding worried.

Nigel groaned, "Adults..." as he tried to resume reading the story.

* * *

Vivi nodded, as she knew what she had to do. She would rather just kill the two boys her way. After all, her salon was supposed to be a death trap to those that trespass on her turf. However, last time she did that, Fritz got in the way of trying to kill a Lance Galahad. It took a while for her to move back into his castle (enough time for her to fix her body in time), after all he was the only one to take in a dangerous vampiress like her. He was her landlord, and doing these tasks was the only thing she can pay him for.

Her F-cups were restrained only by her black long sleeved shirt, which had to be this tight or else her body wouldn't distract her victims from her bite. At least, that's what Nero told her. She waited until the two boys entered her salon to make her move.

"Wow! Running around these parts makes you look like a fish out of water, right?", she smirked.

Shima and Isaki looked up at them. But Isaki... Vivi couldn't believe it. He looked just like a merman Lance Galahad... All he needed was some bronzer, a nosejob and the baseball cap and he would fit the part. She shook her head. That didn't make sense.

"Glad you can drop in... I'm Vivi, and welcome to Vivi's Funeral Salon!", she smiled.

"Psst... Shima... Isn't that a... vampire?!", Isaki squealed, hugging the dark-haired boy.

"Yes, but she may not be a bad person... You weren't human but that didn't make you bad, right?", Shima said with a smile that made Isaki blush.

Isaki and Shima got distracted with each other and not with her body. And that comment... What did Shima mean by that?

"Why don't you have a seat, boys...", she groaned, pulling them and throwing them into a chair.

She was about to scream in rage when she saw Isaki sitting on Shima's lap.

"Shima... Are you sure? Vampires are known to suck blood!", Isaki whined.

"Even if that's so, maybe the solution is to..."

"So what brings you boys here?"

"Well there was this freak of nature chasing us, and...", Isaki started... Just like Lance Galahad; calling Fritz a freak. She hated that about Lance. If he hated Fritz, there is a chance he hates her too.

"Well, I know you boys want to get all lovey-dovey in front of Vivi... but how about I sit you guys down a different stall."

Vivi decided separating them would be the best solution. After all, Nero wanted Isaki personally. She tried to pull the merman off his male friend.

"WAAAHH! SHIMAAAAA!", Isaki yelped as he felt her long well manicured fushia colored fingernails claw into his scales in hopes to pull the merman off Shima.

"Isaki!", Shima gasped as Shima was clinging his hands on Shima.

"OWOWOWOWOW!", Isaki whined, "Sorry, lady! I want to stay with Shima! I don't want to leave him alone!"

Vivi sighed. Maybe with both of them killed at once, there would be less of a chance for this struggle to happen.

"Well, both of you boys look like you need a shave...", she smirked as she took out her scythe.

"WAAHH! NOT REALLY! SHIMA IS CLEAN SHAVEN ALREADY, SEE?!", Isaki yelped pointing at Shima's face.

"And Isaki's a merman; Why would he need a shave?", Shima muttered.

"I dunno boys... At least with that Shima kid, he may have missed a spot.", She muttered.

Instead, she tripped over another one of her weapons, a butcherknife, and landed herself on the barber's chair with them, breaking the chair.

"Oops... Did I do that?...", she muttered, wondering if her top-heavy body would have suffocated them, as if clumsily doing so.

"M-m-maybe...", Isaki coughed. He was still alive, and his tail fin was slapping Vivi's rear end on accident. He was surprised because he was on top of Shima, and the both of them looked surprised.

"Isaki I...", Shima blushed. It was like that moment when they were alone at the beach together that one quiet night. That moment where Shima was aroused. Those were the most awkward of moments, especially with a vampire on top of them.

Vivi understood that separating the two would be almost impossible now. She sighed, finally giving up on killing them. Besides, unlike Lance Galahad, Isaki was actually trying to protect someone, and that someone would be more distracting than her huge breasts.

"Maybe a facial?", Vivi asked.

They nodded.

"But promise me you won't do one thing; Kill us."

Vivi nodded. She only used step three, which is just a normal face massage. She would usually three-step it, first step squeezing most of the skin and muscles on the face off, therefore killing them, second step polishing the skull and/or aging you, and third step revitalizing you. (This third step was what she used to get back her young bodacious body; She rarely uses it otherwise).

"Thanks, Lady...", Isaki smiled, looking like he had to plead on his hands and knees to spare their lives.

"Anytime sugar.", Vivi smiled.

"VIVI! Why haven't you killed them yet?! I ordered you to do so!", Nero's voice hissed.

"Well, maybe I have some heart for these two little strays. Can't blame me; I'm still a woman!"

"ENOUGH! Pack your bags and leave!"

Vivi sighed. This was the inevitable for switching sides, especially this quickly. The fact she's let Lance Galahad mess her up once for siding with Nero was one way to get her to say this. Another thing is that Isaki was not Lance Galahad no matter how she looked at him.

She sighed, cleaning her 'salon' out and walking with Isaki and Shima out.

"You know... If you don't have a home... Maybe you can live with us...", Shima replied.

"Thank you, child, but Vivi can't fit her entire salon into your house.", Vivi muttered.

"I see... Thank you again, lady!", Isaki smiled.

Vivi liked it that they parted. But at the same time, she wished she has taken Shima's offer... Especially when fall came and she started to freeze.

* * *

Nigel and the FanFic Critic finished that part off. Then they realized there were more chapters. They sighed. They had to take a break.

The RED Sniper was still bickering with the alligator, but now they were out of the vents. Sentai Pink was very unamused (probably jealous) that he tried to kill Doktor Frogg, so mad in fact he tossed the RED Sniper out the window.

"There... Now Doktor Frogg will never have another assassination attempt happen to him again. As much as I'd like to see villainy die, killing our little Froggy would be a bad idea!", Sentai Pink muttered as he hugged the now in-need-of-some-medical-assistance Doktor Frogg.

"You're... defending me?"

"That's right... Now that I know you promised, and after that traumatic experience... How about I play a little game of 'Doctor'.", Pink grinned as he took out a first aid kit to help Doktor Frogg's healing factors work faster.

Lesbian Jesus looked at Nigel, "Very good job, Nigel... I know the story is incomplete... But you can do this, right?"

"Have someone else read it. I never really got what they were saying at all...", Nigel muttered disgusted.

* * *

And finally, with the FanFic Critic.

"Now can I kill her?", Master Chief muttered.

"Fine! I'll tell you who was originally going to kill you... But I will have to tell you privately as a means of not letting the rest of the characters hear in on this...", Susan smirked.

The girls let go as they watched their creepy lady friend walk the green-armored space soldier out the door of the FanFic Critic's room. A few minutes of silence and there was chatter, and after that chatter...

Splck!

Susan opened the door... Master Chief was on the floor.

"My... MY RAZOR!", the FanFic Critic gasped.

"How did I get it, you might ask me? Well... This is what happens when you sleep with all these people on the floor next to you!", Susan laughed.

"And also... Why did you kill Master Chief?!"

"One: He already knew the answer. It's one of those 'I'll tell you but then I'll have to kill you' questions. and Two: This is much better payback for what the ArchangelAssasin did to you."

"Oh yeah... ArchangelAssassin isn't going to like this...", the FanFic Critic then muttered as she started to look guilty for some reason.

"Who is she?", Duck asked.

The FanFic Critic turned. There was this look of fear in her face as she looked at Duck.

"Whatever you do... Hide your pretty, pretty, anime boys."

** TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Woot! Had to add this chapter in before I can officially state I am going to have a hard time beating Etrian Odyssey 2. Yes, my boyfriend's friend gave him the game, and then he gave it to me for finally playing as a party of 5 with a Hexer involved without having to grind through 4 stratums to capture him!

*Insert Fluttershy Woo-hoo!*

Anyway, this isn't the end of the FanFic Critic's story with anime characters, my Etrian Odyssey 3 party, and their precious King Seyfried; There should be more to come! I promise! I won't ditch this like I've ditched most other stories on here!


	7. Chapter 6: TV Explosions and Gimmicks

Nasty Nasty Susan... Why Must You Kill?: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 6

* * *

Days have past. Master Chief was given a proper burial. Susan left to go to England for a while. The FanFic Critic decided to go out with ArchangelAssassin to look at a Pokemon movie coming out. Otherwise, no news.

Takeo, Sae, and Aburatsubo tried to chant the spell. Instead of teleporting somewhere else, They somehow stripped Seyfried of all of his armor (as well as the rest of Dangerus').

"Takeo... Were you thinking lustful thoughts?", Aburatsubo hissed.

"Wha-?! No way! What made you think that?!", Takeo groaned. At the same time though, he never would have expected to see naked women of all things.

It also didn't help the male pirate thought Takeo was eyeing Seyfried.

"OI! Stare all ya want, but yer not gonna dare humiliate m'Lord anymore than that!", Alcohol's hairy body only made things worse as he was also covering the females of the Guild from Takeo's line of vision."

Ayeka opened the door.

"How is the process of the... Oh my...", Ayeka muttered horrified. It was the first time Ayeka had seen a naked man that wasn't Tenchi... In fact, she never seen four naked men at once before ever! She tried to look away, but the situation remained awkward.

"How was I supposed to know our magic can do these things?!", Sae then muttered also looking away, staring down a wall in innocent horror.

"Don't worry Sae! Since we bought clothes with the FanFic Critic, all we have to do is put on some clothes!", Flappy smiled as he clumsily went into the FanFic Critic's closet to pick out the clothes he picked.

"Great idea...", Seyfried nodded, "Maybe this wasn't as bad as I thought; The armor really wasn't befitting of the times in this place."

"Everyone knows that...", Alcohol smirked, "That's why the Magic Club stripped us bare like this! They want you in something a little more..."

"Finish that sentence with something dirty, and you'll be punished severely...", Seyfried hissed.

Alcohol just brought in a fancy butler outfit, "I like it when you try to act all kingly..."

"It's my job, though...", Seyfried muttered confused.

"Just take it as a complement!", Aburatsubo then snickered knowing what Alcohol was trying to do. Takeo was too distracted by Alistar and Nadjaki to say anything.

Meanwhile, Ayeka was slamming the door in front of her, now red with embarrassment and eyes widened with shock.

"Dear God, what did I just walk into?!", Ayeka shivered. She would never look at Seyfried and his companions the same way again.

Ginka was curious to Ayeka just standing in front of the FanFic Critic's door with an expression of utter trauma. He was now wearing what looks like a purple dress with different types of food all over it.

"Ayeka... Are you okay?"

Ayeka nodded, "I just walked into something I wish I didn't see..."

Though, Ayeka was eyeing Ginka's odd choice of clothing. The long sleeved dress looked like something a Mormon version of Lady Gaga would wear, a little friendly on the eyes but still wacky, almost like he was a character in a children's cartoon of sorts.

"Let me guess... You watched the Television again...", Ayeka muttered, now with her eyes looking at her cross-dressing male counterpart.

"That's right!", Ginka smiled.

"What were you watching that had you wearing... bread as a breast pocket."

Ginka giggled, "I knew you would ask that!"

"Tell me already! This is almost ridiculous that anyone would wear such a thing! I mean, who would wear food designs on themselves and get away with it!"

Mihoshi smiled as the Magic Schoolbus theme started to play on the television.

"Hey Ayeka! We're discovering educational cartoons made by Canadians!"

"Would anyone make fan fiction on those?", Ayeka asked as she then noticed the wacky clothes on the teacher of the show, a frizzy red-head with a pet chameleon on her shoulder. Then she looked at Ginka's clothes.

"Dear God! How many episodes did you watch of this... this..."

"Edutainment? Well, we only saw two or three. The first one was about the digestive system.", Mihoshi replied.

"Oh... I see...", Ayeka muttered now sitting with Mihoshi and Ginka when they resumed their watching of the series. However, a peculiar weapon slammed into the TV, screen cracked open, as the smell of the electrical fire started to fill the room as the TV buzzed uncontrollably.

Mihoshi then gasped, turning around holding her weapon towards the intruder who startled everyone else with this action. Ginka didn't even scream. He just turned as well, in utter shock on what happened. Ayeka also turned, activating her Juraiyan abilities.

It was a chubby brunette girl wearing a newsboy's cap with spikes on it and a Gears of War shirt. Her blue eyes glowered in rage, as if she was here for vengeance.

"Stop, in the name of the law! Who might you be, trespasser?!", Mihoshi hissed, sounding like a true police officer.

"Mihoshi, relax!", the FanFic Critic's nervous voice muttered as she stepped from behind the mysterious girl, "ArchangelAssassin is not here for you. No way, no how! (Although, clearly she owes us an apology and a new TV...) She's here f-"

The girl hissed, "WHERE IS SUSAN?!"

Mihoshi then remembered Susan killed Master Chief. This may have been a punishable offense, but Mihoshi was able to forgive it because Master Chief was clearly after her as well.

"Why do you want to see her?", Mihoshi asked.

"...Actually, you have a point...", the girl replied.

"Huh? You mean you don't want to kill her because she killed Master Chief?"

"I've only played one or two Halo games. I wasn't THAT attached to Master Chief.", ArchangelAssassin pointed out.

"So maybe you're mad at Susan because she assumed you did and that's why she killed him?", Ginka asked.

"YES! That's why I'm mad!", she then replied now realizing her reason.

"Well, don't kill her. We should settle this like mature Terran citizens!", Mihoshi then muttered, now realizing what was happening.

ArchangelAssassin turned to the FanFic Critic to ask, "Okay, who is she?"

The FanFic Critic replied, "Long story..."

Ayeka removed her shields and then turned to Ginka, who looked back at her now looking more confused than she was.

"Anyway, where did she go, anyway?"

"Probably back to England...", Ayeka replied.

"Coward... I can't... Do what that tan-skinned elf chick told me.", ArchangelAssassin murmured looking at Mihoshi confused.

"I am Mihoshi Kuramitsu of the Galaxy Police. I was ordered to monitor Planet Earth. I was recently requested by Miss Washu to protect Miss Ayeka and prevent her from hurting a certain blonde haired Terran cross dresser.", Mihoshi muttered now looking at Ginka who really was confused.

"Well, seeing I haven't done that yet, that shouldn't be that big of a deal.", Ayeka smiled nervously as she tried to pull Ginka out of the room.

Ginka waved nervously at ArchangelAssassin as Ayeka pulled Ginka into the FanFic Critic's room, where hopefully everyone was finally clothed at this time.

ArchangelAssassin looked outside to see the backyard, Femio sunbathing, Teika was prowling around the yard while Duck was practicing magic as well. They were but small requests made by Takeo to transform things into something completely different. Duck was able to turn small weeds in the grass into a bed of daffodils. She quacked in shock to see the TV was now literally on fire. Femio turned lifting sunglasses up, revealing he was clad in only a string bikini. He then shrieked in terror and awe as well. Teika actually did a similar thing, but a lion's face in awe looked too confusing for ArchangelAssassin.

"Calm down everyone! A simple maneuver is to use water!", Mihoshi smiled as she went to go get a glass full of it.

"NO YOU IDIOT!", the FanFic Critic hissed.

Mihoshi did so, only to have the TV explode on her, having the fire only get worse.

"W-wa-wa-wait! Let me get more water!", Mihoshi muttered. Second time was a charm, as she got a huge bucket load and tossed it on the TV. The TV was now silent, with the occasional electrical screeching.

* * *

Five hours later, Mihoshi started to cry when she was in a car with Aburatsubo and Jean, "I JUST WANTED IT TO STOP BEING ON FIRE!"

"Zat escalated a little quickly...", Jean muttered, "At least it's over for ze most part."

"So how was YOUR first day at school, Jean?", Aburatsubo asked.

"A little strange. Ryoshi started to break down when everyone was looking at him."

"ASIDE FROM THAT.", Aburatsubo pointed out, remembering that it was normal for Ryoshi to do that.

"Ookami and Nadia almost got zemselves in a fight. But ze teacher kicked us out because we didn't enroll in any classes, and we had no IDs."

Aburatsubo snickered, "I knew cartoon logic doesn't exist..."

"So... We need a few words to the FanFic Critic on this. How are we going to blend in now? She only gave us a credit card, and I forgot the PIN number for it already!", Mihoshi cried.

"Didn't she give you a piece of paper?", Aburatsubo groaned.

Mihoshi looked in her pockets, "No... OH NO... I think I tossed it!"

Aburatsubo groaned, "Ohhh dear. Hopefully you know how to turn, right?"

Mihoshi turned fast, and she scared the oncoming traffic this way. As the tires screeched, every other car on the street honked their horn and the other drivers screamed at them.

Aburatsubo slapped his palms over his face in disappointment, as Jean held on to Aburatsubo tightly as Mihoshi started to drive like crazy. She almost crashed into a tree, but she was able to stop herself as she quickly hit the brakes hard. The inertia almost gave Aburatsubo and Jean whiplash, and she tried to reverse back on the FanFic Critic's garage, only to break down the garage door.

"WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE?!"

Mihoshi started to cry. the FanFic Critic walked in on the alien girl finally putting the park break as Aburatsubo and Jean walked out disoriented and almost dazed in a way.

"I'll drive to buy you a TV, Critic.", Ginka replied, now dressed in his normal white shirt over a black tank top, black jeans, brown thigh high boots, and a silver pendant with a cross on it.

"Thanks. By the way, here's the PIN. Don't spend on ANYTHING else, understand? It was already going over the top buying clothes for you guys.", the FanFic Critic muttered.

"Alright! It's a pinky-swear!", Ginka smiled. He then drove fast, but not over the speed-limit like Mihoshi or crazy. Ginka was reminded that the driving in America was far different from the FanFic Critic, as well as watching it from reference to the Magic School Bus and real life. So far, he was doing a good job of staying in the lane.

"What are we going to do with you guys?!", the FanFic Critic moaned as she looked down on the sobbing Mihoshi and the confused boys trying to get to a bed or a couch to pass out on.

* * *

Meanwhile, Nigel decided to continue on forward with the reading of the fan fiction with Vivi and the boys in the... What series was it? He couldn't remember on the top of his head, but he knew at least their names: Isaki and Shima Kawauchi.

He then turned to see Flapjack surprised, next to him was a disgruntled Iris.

"Cilan, Cress, and Chili are making breakfast Everyone else is in their rooms asleep. You're up to read THAT again?", Iris asked irritated.

"Well, excuse me! But if you don't remember, we were immune to some weird concoction the adults in this household had that somehow got them to... blegh! I don't want to talk about it with you guys."

"So... What's the big deal? They just went to their bedrooms together?", Flapjack asked curiously.

Nigel laughed, "In twos? As I want to mention this to you, Flapjack, all the bedrooms have ONE bed. Lesbian Jesus already explained to me in this universe where babies come from. They're NOT fish from the sea in a bed of kelp."

Flapjack was curious as to what Nigel was getting at.

"How did she tell you?", Iris asked.

Nigel shivered as he flashed back to Nigel being the only one awake to hear Lesbian Jesus' 'bedtime story'. It was an erotic fan fiction, something not even a child as hardened as Nigel would ever want to hear read to them by her soothing, mysteriously entrancing voice. She was critiquing it, as Nigel would have suspected.

Admittedly, Nigel would no longer listen to heavy metal the same way again. He heard worse written stories, but then again, Nigel had to learn how to survive the universe where children and adults never had battled against each other for glory, and instead have to cope in a house with a deity reading to them erotica based around characters they have never even heard of before. He finally noticed a review on the Vivi fan fiction that wasn't his.

It read the FanFic Critic. He took a close look at her profile on the website in question, and was astonished that she actually reviewed other fan fictions written by the user "PeacockFeathers".

"PeacockFeathers, huh? What a strange girl... Her fan fiction always seems... Well... abandoned..."

Then he looked at her profile. It was said it was a teenaged girl that was deceased on February 1st of 2013. She had one year to complete her work, and she didn't do it. Not even once. Nigel felt curious. It seemed the fan fiction with Vivi, Isaki, and Shima was the only one that succeeded with being completed. The first one, at that.

Nigel decided to read Chapter 2 of the story.

* * *

Autumn's crisp breezes and mild rainfall was now whisked away by Winter's even crisper chills and heavy snowstorms that danced in the wind like white sand in the desert. Vivi in her bat form was still cold. Her salon equipment broke down due to the hail yesterday before. Vivi was almost hurt now, and even as a vampire, she hated frostbite the most.

She then heard a familiar noise coming from inside a lit house by the seashore.

"SHIIMAAAAAA! It's cold!", the orange haired merman cried as he was shivering in his pool.

"I really can't do anything about it. It's winter.", Shima said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Winter, why are you so mean!", Isaki yelled at the snowy night.

Shima couldn't help but chuckle, "So that's what you say to the snow outside."

Now that Isaki thought about it, even in the ocean he never experienced winter the way humans did, because he spent a lot of his life underwater.

Vivi couldn't help but look through the window as they continued to converse.

"Shima... What's that?!", he shrieked when he finally noticed Vivi's bat form trying to peek in.

Shima turned to see it as well. "A bat? I thought all the mammals here were hibernating... How did a bat get in here?"

He opened the door for Vivi to collapse onto the floor.

Vivi was weakly at this point. She fell down, finally turning back into her vampire form. She coughed a bit, shivering freezing cold. The sun may be Hell, but the snow weakened her the most because she's a humanoid wearing skimpy clothes.

She looked up at Shima and looked toward Isaki.

"D-don't worry about me, boys... I don't want to stay in fer da night. I just was observing you.", Vivi muttered.

Shima's face read that it was creepy of her to just do that in the cold.

"Doing that in the cold like that would kill you. Here. Let me set up a bed. You should probably get a hot bath. No worries, I'll cook the soup..."

"Thank you! Wow, you boys are such fine gentlemen!", She smiled, "I hope you weren't using that hot bath part though as an excuse to... peek in on me..."

The boys shook their heads.

"No lady! We have each other!", Isaki then pouted, now looking at her jealous. Vivi was surprised Isaki reacted this way. Then she forgot; The boys were homosexual for each other.

She apologetically laughed as she went into the restroom to start bathing. Little did she know that she was going to stay with them when they get snowed in...

* * *

Nigel shook his head. It was still a little odd, actually disturbing now. He felt like the fan fiction was worse than before.

Lesbian Jesus chuckled, "Wow, Nigel. Didn't think you'd wake up this early to read that."

Nigel turned and gave a confused look at her. Iris and Flapjack did a similar thing.

"Yeah. You gave the grown ups some sort of weird drug, didn't you?", Nigel asked disgusted.

"What made you think that, my bald little friend?", she asked.

Nigel sighed, "Nothing..."

"Anyway, I'll be gone for a bit. I have to atone a friend of mine of her sins.", she smiled, "You take care of the house now. Make sure you don't walk in on any of the 'adults'..."

Nigel shuddered, thinking of the horrors he'll walk in on. But hey... At least Lesbian Jesus was taking him seriously.

"I will... and I should really get those Striaton boys out of the kitchen. It's getting creepy to wake up to the boys making us food.", Nigel groaned.

"Oh! Yeah. That's kind of true.", Flapjack muttered.

Lesbian Jesus giggled. Though something felt off... Should she really trust a ten year old boy with the house? Only God knows.

* * *

Susan sat in her chair, watching the FanFic Critic and ArchangelAssassin's latest collab. In the background, you can hear Sae and Duck trying to comfort Mihoshi, who just kept bawling. The good news was, the outside world just presumed they were cats meowing to get inside the room.

Bad news was that Susan knew better, especially seeing that she's been in the FanFic Critic's house to witness their entrance.

"Satisfied?", a soothing voice asked her.

"Honestly, I feel disappointed ArchangelAssassin didn't say anything about Master Chief.", Susan muttered.

"Why must you kill?"

Susan then replied, "I'm sorry, Lesbian Jesus... It's just... Honestly, I think the FanFic Critic is starting to distance herself away from me ever since they came along. It was basically to try and get her attention again."

Lesbian Jesus shook her head, "Killing is not always the solution."

"I've learned that lesson. Now I should watch as I've noticed how they've made their own little society that outcasted me for it...", Susan hissed.

"The FanFic Critic would be very unamused of what you're saying."

"I know."

"Apologize. Try to make it up to them. Blood is not something that attracts anime characters towards you no matter how vampyric they may look.", Lesbian Jesus muttered.

"What does that mean?"

"Oh nothing. I'm reminiscing on an anime cliche in which when one is aroused they bleed from their nose."

"God dammit... What are you really here, for?", Susan asked.

"I want you to atone for your sin of killing Master Chief. In all honesty, you threatened to kill five Magic Club members. As much as you'd think it, I don't despise Wiccans you know."

Susan shook her head, "So you want me to go back?"

"Yes...", Lesbian Jesus murmured.

She leaned in closer to Susan, and whispered into her ear, "...and I want you to tell the others about Peacock Feathers..."

Susan didn't know what she was referring to but she agreed to this little request Lesbian Jesus gave her.

"I'll go talk to my family about this...", Susan muttered.

* * *

Ookami was surfing channels on the new TV Ginka bought with the FanFic Critic's money. Then she stared confused, as she saw instead of any moving pictures, an image of a peacock on the screen.

"Hello there, Wolf girl...", a camp male voice, sounding deep and bassy though announced.

"Who are you?", Ookami asked.

"I am Peacock Feathers... I was just checking up on you. After all, I sent you into this world, am I not correct?"

Ookami hissed, "Cut the bullshit! I want to know what you want from us?!"

"Ahhh... I can hear your voice through there. If only I can see your beautiful body as it finally holds Ryoshi's beautiful body in an erotic embrace!"

Ookami was now scared, "Are you... a pervert?"

Nadia walked in and saw Ookami talking to the TV.

"Ah. Nadia's breath...", the man muttered sounding like he was about to scream in pleasure.

Nadia was scared as well.

"You get off on us?!", Ookami asked sounding pissed. She kicked the TV.

"Ahh... Your kicks only make me want you even more!", the man yelled. He had an insane feel to him that made Nadia want to walk back.

"Who are you after?"

The man in the screen said nothing... Finally... The peacock started to move and transform into an image of Ash in a threesome with Anabel and N before the TV shut itself down and restarted itself as a normal episode of Pokemon started to play.

Nadia looked at Ookami.

"Was that... Tim Curry's voice I've heard... or that creepy mad scientist guy from that bad Earthian OVA series?", Nadia asked.

A few minutes later, Jean and Ryoshi ran over, showing a strange glint of fear and confusion in their expressions.

"Something wrong, Jean?", Nadia asked.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Wow. Dungeons and Dragons-esque campaigns kept me busy, as well as homework for my classes. I'm glad now that I got this out of the way. The plot thickens and a mysterious MarySue/GaryStu appears by the name of 'Peacock Feathers'. That's right! This character is a villain I made for this series! You may not get much else yet on this character, but maybe... MAYBE... Maybe at the end, you'll see what s/he really looks like. For now... Everything is a mystery.

Anyway, I have a lot of stories to work with so you might have to excuse me. Maybe once a month I start updating (unless it is high in demand). I even started writing original fan fiction on another site. If you want to read it, PM me.


	8. Chapter 7: Femio by Nabokov

The Departing and Arrival of the Magic User's Club: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 7

* * *

"Zhey did it! Zhey finally did it!", Jean said in a shocked tone.

"Who? Who did what?", Nadia asked.

"R-r-Ryoko... The Magic Club... They finally successfully done that transportation technique!", Ryoshi replied, telling Ookami.

"That's great! Will they come back to take us back?", Ookami asked.

"It's been almost a month since they left their home. I think it's best they see if they missed anything first.", Nadia replied.

"Also... Seyfried started to act a little strange. Almost aggressive. Thank goodness Alcohol and Alistar were there. He almost sliced us to bits!", Ryoshi then shrieked.

"How did zhat happen I wonder?", Jean then pondered.

* * *

In the FanFic Critic's room, Flappy was looking at Seyfried. His eyes were now a green color, and not his usual brighter purple color. Seeing he was now dazed, Flappy decided to analyze what else could have went wrong.

"Hmmm... Something tells me Seyfried got a virus."

"A virus?", Nadjaki asked the young boy.

"Yeah... His skin is surprisingly overheated, and his eyes glinted green for a minute.", Flappy said, as slowly Seyfried's eye color was changing back to normal.

"But... Nadjaki thought Seyfried now human again!", the feral girl squeaked as she looked at Seyfried.

"Even so, he must have reacted to something that may have reintroduced his instincts from back when he was under Yggdrassil's influence. He was an artificial human created by the tree after all. It would seem legit.", Flappy noted as he gestured Nadjaki to help him carry Seyfried's body on the FanFic Critic's bed.

"It only happened after Magic Club used magic. We should watch King. King's actions show when Magic Club come back.", Nadjaki muttered.

Flappy translated the pidgeon tongued English to make it clearer what she was saying to himself, and then quickly nodded, "Great idea Nadjaki! If Seyfried starts acting up again, we just know they're coming back!"

So they awaited their return.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Goldcrowne Univeristy...

Everyone realized the good news was that even though they experienced weeks in the FanFic Critic, they returned just at the time they went there, rather than much later.

"Nothing's changed.", Sae muttered.

"Or did it?", Aburatsubo muttered.

They went the rest of their days like normal (at least for a few hours). However, they seemed more together even sitting together at dinner together. This scared Pique and Lilie, Duck's 'friends'. Even Femio was sitting with the Magic Club.

"Dear God... Did Femio actually...", Lilie was asking, only to be interrupted by Femio.

"Non... I don't know what you are talking about.", Femio said, surprisingly sounded heated.

"He is! He's actually sticking with a group of friends!"

Femio's eyes widened with confusion.

"That's an achievement! Usually we only know you just creep on us! I didn't know you flinging yourself at people would actually get you any friends...", Pique then giggled.

Femio looked downward, almost looking like he was insulted.

"Glad Duck taught this freak how to socialize properly for once!", Lilie giggled.

"Hey! Quit picking on him!", Sae then shouted.

Sae didn't want to see this.

Pique and Lilie turn to see Sae. Femio turned to look at her. Duck did as well.

"Why do you guys pick on him? He's no different to that Mytho boy you hang out with instead of your own friend! So are you only Duck's friend so you can pick on someone that's different?", Sae hissed.

"It's not like that...", Lilie muttered.

"Then tell me... Why are you attacking Femio like that? I can say I have a reason for attacking you on this matter!", Sae asked.

Duck then pondered that herself. Then again, she wanted to know why Femio was acting so defensive and tense when the girls tried to ask Duck about him of all people.

"Uhhh... Sae, I don't think you're the one attacking them...", Takeo muttered worringly.

Sae looked back to Takeo and replied, "Oh... Well... I was only doing it because they were mean to Duck and I when I first met them... and right now they're being mean to Femio."

"We're only being honest, Jeez...", Pique groaned as she and Lilie walked off.

Sae was tearing up. Femio was doing so as well.

"You did a good job defending him, Sawanoguchi...", Takeo smiled.

While Femio was only trying not to cry, Sae let it all out, crying over Takeo's shoulder. Aburatsubo usually would get mad over this, but for once, he seemed okay with the man of his dreams comforting another girl. He looked to Femio though. He was still in shock, trying to absorb what was going on.

"Hey... Are you okay, Femio?", Aburatsubo asked.

Femio shook his head, "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me, dear sir..."

As they saw Femio walk off, Sae saw Duck follow him.

"Wait! Femio! Don't let them get to you like that!", Duck tried to tell him as they departed the cafeteria, as if Femio was being chased for once.

As classmates started gasping and gossiping amongst themselves.

"Was this planned in the fan fiction?", Takeo asked now looking upward. A few minutes later, the sky opened up as he finally saw an image of a peacock instead of a ceiling. Sae and Aburatsubo did as well. They shook their heads looking back up.

"I... guess so...", Aburatsubo muttered.

"Wait... Up there... Was that... a peacock?", Sae asked.

"Who cares? Something strange happened... Takeo... Have you forgotten we are in this fan fiction?", Aburatsubo then whispered in Takeo's ear, but just before he told Sae his opinion on the situation.

"Hey, Takakura!", Sae exclaimed.

"Yes, Sawanoguchi?"

Sae then replied, "What's that term they use in stories where someone talks to the audience?"

"I think it's called 'Breaking the Fourth Wall' or something like that.", Takeo muttered.

"Do you think we've... broken the fourth wall?", Aburatsubo then blinked for a moment, but not before asking this.

"You must've seen the image I had...", Sae then nodded.

"A peacock?", Aburatsubo asked.

Takeo shook his head, "It's too dangerous to stay here. We have to return to the FanFic Critic. I think the fan fiction is... 'defiling canon' if you want to hear the truth."

"Let's get Duck and Femio then. They made us do that in the first place!", Aburatsubo announced.

* * *

Femio was just sobbing in the Magic Club room. He locked the door so nobody else could go in. Duck was knocking.

"Femio! Let me in!", Duck yelled, "You're not a freak! Don't listen to those girls!"

Femio was still sobbing.

"He won't listen...", Duck then muttered.

Duck remembered that Femio was a melodramatic kind of man. However, she remembered usually Femio would actually ignore his detractors and go around his normal business. Even if he did get sad, after he sobbed, as long as someone told him he was okay (Usually his butler who disappeared somehow) and would tell you all he was doing was brushing off the insults.

Then she gasped.

She saw a door fling open.

Femio was holding his wand, as someone flew out of the room. His clothes were torn, as if someone was trying to force them off. His skin was occasionally covered in yellow chalky spots, as if the person in question was wearing makeup on their hands.

"Femio...", Duck then muttered.

"Surprise, surprise... I can just kill two birds with one stone, and just eat you already."

She turned around. There was a man dressed up in a girl's sailor uniform. He had blue hair that transitioned with green tips, almost like peacock feathers. His eyes were a gold color, his skin a bright yellow color. Then again, that skin tone seemed like it was almost impossible to pull off naturally. Duck then noticed his that his palms were actually a pale skin color, and that they were just covered in the same stuff that rubbed on Femio's skin.

"Duck! Femio!", Sae's voice echoed in the halls.

"D-d-damn...", the man muttered. He then disappeared, his transition out of their line of vision being like a television shutting itself off. Difference was, before he disappeared, that same image of Ash, Anabel and N in a threesome popped up after otherwise, a loss of trace.

"Duck... Is Femio okay?", Takeo asked.

"N-no... He's not!", Duck then muttered.

Aburatsubo looked inside and gasped. Femio's pants were stripped off, and his shirt barely stayed on as his jacket was torn apart. The only thing completely on him intact was his dark colored speedo.

"Femio... Did someone try to..."

Femio looked up to see Aburatsubo. He had a look of horror in his eyes.

"...Rape you?"

Femio looked away, "...So I've guessed you noticed."

"Who did it?! We'll try to make him pay!", Duck then hissed.

"I don't know his name, actually... but to me he's just another man enraged in lust for a true prince...", Femio said, trying to return to his usual facade. It didn't work though.

"We should head back to the FanFic Critic's world. It's no longer safe here at home.", Takeo muttered.

"You're right...", Duck muttered, "and that guy... He'll probably come again to hurt Femio again."

They nodded, trying again to do the teleportation spell back.

* * *

Seyfried's eyes opened up. They were green again. Though, rather than attacking anyone, he started to strip down in front of Alcohol and Alistar, who were checking up on him.

They both turned and blushed a little bit.

"Should we tell Flappy they're coming back?", Alcohol asked.

Alistar muttered, "I'll tell him. You restrain him from stripping any further than that."

Alcohol then knocked Seyfried on the head as he then passed out back on the bed. The good news is, he wasn't finished unbuttoning his shirt. The bad news is, it'll take time for Seyfried to return to consciousness.

"Sorry m'lord... As much as I like you to do a strip tease fer me, I don't want it when you're controlled by accidental hypnosis...", Alcohol then sighed as he tried to walk back. Though something tugged him back. He looked. It was Seyfried's hands, red hot from fever.

"Alcohol... Can you tell me something?", Seyfried asked. His eyes flashing from green to purple, back, and forth, as if Seyfried was trying to break out of the hypnosis.

"Yes m'lord... Anything for you...", Alcohol grinned.

"What's... happening to me?"

Alcohol blinked, "Gee m'lord. I'm not so sure myself."

Seyfried's eyes then finally snapped back to purple as Seyfried began coughing profusely, as if he was about to vomit something out.. or choke it. Alcohol's eyes widened with surprise as well as horror.

Alcohol took Seyfried by the shoulder and started to slam the door to the FanFic Critic's bathroom.

"'Scuze me! Move it! Seyfried's about to have rainbow yarn!", Alcohol screamed at the cats who were surprisingly there confused and shocked.

Seyfried finally spat out what was in his throat. It was what looked like a small peacock feather.

The cats looked down at it, as did Seyfried and Alcohol.

"...How did I get that in me?", Seyfried asked puzzled.

"I dunno...", Alcohol muttered also puzzled.

Seyfried looked at him as he saw Susan behind him.

"Oh... Welcome back, Susan. I am not feeling very well... I think my body was reacting poorly to somehow eating exotic birds raw like this.", Seyfried glanced at her.

Susan beamed, "WHAT?!"

She looked down at the toilet and saw the peacock feather. Then she knew it. She was reminded of what Lesbian Jesus requested her to warn them about.

"PeacockFeathers...", Susan muttered.

"SUSAN!", Sae screamed.

Susan turned. Sae was holding Femio's trembling body.

"What happened... Is Femio okay?", Susan asked.

"We... started to see where our fan fiction went downhill and we saw a cross-dressing man... with the features of a peacock.", Takeo muttered.

"I see... Well, if he's the same person that was making Seyfried act funny, then we need to stick together. Whatever you do, we should never EVER leave the FanFic Critic's house alone.", Alcohol muttered.

"So we'll need to go with a buddy or in a large group if we're going to ever step outside?", Duck asked.

Sae placed Femio where Seyfried was sleeping.

"Stay there, I'll get you some water...", Sae said with a smile, hoping she'll help Femio cope with defending himself.

"Oh God... It's not like the fruit to actually look horrified. What happened?", Susan asked.

Femio now just coldly glared at her, scowling, "What do you think happened?"

Susan then looked at Femio, who looked traumatized.

"You may not dare ask what happened, dear Susan. It's quite obvious I was assaulted by someone who couldn't just casually ask a true prince such as myself to let them romance them..."

He told her anyway. Usually Susan would act like a smart ass and mock him for it, but this was Femio; He wanted to be taken seriously, especially now that she suspected that PeacockFeathers actually tried to molest him.

"Actually, Seyfried was acting funny before and after you guys left.", Alcohol muttered.

Alistar then brought in the others, who looked spooked.

"Are Femio and Seyfried going to be okay?", Yuka asked, her sweet little eyes widened with worry.

"I'll be fine...", Seyfried smiled, "but Femio might need some time alone..."

Femio shook his head, "No... I need the opposite; I need comfort!"

Femio flung himself on the bed, clinging the sheets and hugging the pillow.

"Femio...", Duck muttered in surprise as she touched him.

Femio slapped her away. Then he gasped. Why did he do that?!

"Femio... You're..."

Femio resumed to cry. Duck looked down. Femio didn't know it, but he was mentally broken. Duck understood even a simple bit of contact would make him snap at this moment.

Ookami knew this feeling, as this was the feeling of a rape victim.

"Hey, can I talk to you in private Femio?", Ookami asked, eyeing everyone to leave.

"What for?", Femio asked.

Ookami looked down, "You know, I can tell how you're feeling. It seems like you can't trust anyone anymore. You feel like nobody can help you out... But you should be glad you know how to defend yourself. At least you helped point out no."

Femio nodded, "Yes, I guess that is true..."

"I can tell as heavy the trauma is, it would go away eventually. You actually got him to stop.", Ookami smiled.

Femio then saw, as he tried to slap her face, but she grabbed his hand.

"Just on the cheek. I promise...", Ookami muttered as she kissed his forehead.

Femio looked back as Ookami left the room.

Femio then covered himself in the FanFic Critic's sheets. He felt strange. Almost comforted finally after knowing he wasn't the only one. He sighed though, feeling sorry for Ookami. At the same time though, he prayed to God he can finally get used to human touch again.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay, Allow me to apologize for scarring you for life in this short chapter with MORE RAPE (this time it was only attempted). Here, it's supposed to emphasize how much of a sick depraved pervert and overall psychopath PeacockFeathers (the villain) really is. Even though a lot of the anime characters I've brought into this series have either magical powers or enough prowess to stop him, I was hoping the FanFic Critic has a battle against him in the last chapter of this arc of the story. (Yes, I plan more after he is defeated. Though, it would be like me asking the FFC for plot ideas on what happens next: Should there be more light-hearted events or should things get darker at this point. Yes there are many characters, but I think I should develop each of them, and seeing I don't have the patience to do it with one arc, I'll probably ask her for more arc ideas. I'm realizing that PeacockFeathers is the worst villain ever and I'm sorry...)


	9. Chapter 8: The Book of Genesis

The Temptation of Adam, Eve, and Whoever Else: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 8

* * *

"Finally found you with my magic, Takakura...", laughed a cruel female voice.

Takeo blinked in horror for a moment, thinking that he was in a nightmare. How did she get here? Why is she here? and what is she doing?!

There she was, a buxom blonde wearing glasses that helped emphasize she was a pure tyrant. Mizuha Miyama was her name, and torturing Takeo was her game. Though, Takeo knew this wasn't the real Mizuha Miyama. Here was why.

Unlike the Miyama he was used to meeting, this Miyama's boobs were fake.

He knew because he stared at those bouncing breasts before and here, they didn't bounce at all.

"Would the real Miyama give a damn about magic?", Takeo then laughed.

This Miyama's eyes widened.

"Takeo, what are you getting at?", Aburatsubo asked curiously.

"C'mon, Aburatsubo! You know as well as I do Miyama cares more about her manga than a bunch of magic tricks!", Takeo laughed anxiously.

"Takakura's right. She doesn't even know about magic!", Sae then replied.

Aburatsubo nodded.

"This is strange though. Who is she, really?"

Takeo replied to Aburatsubo's question, "Let's find out by seeing if she can block this."

He held up the Bible, a book that was found in the FanFic Critic's bookshelf. He tossed the book as hard as he can and then, this Miyama didn't even dodge. She then glitched up until she shown her true identity to them.

PeacockFeathers

Aburatsubo and Sae hid behind Takeo.

"So it's you... Femio's attempted rapist...", Takeo hissed, disgusted at the sight of him.

"Good observation skills, Mr. Takakura.", PeacockFeathers grinned, his golden eyes looking at him as he licked his lips.

"Takeo!", Nadia's voice shouted.

"Takeo?!", Ookami's asked in worry.

"Takeo!", Sasami and Yuka both bellowed in unison.

"D-damn...", PeacockFeathers hissed, disappearing again as he usually did.

"Takeo! Did you get that strange image, too?", Ayeka then asked him.

"You mean PeacockFeathers dressing up as my worst nightmare?... Maybe...", Takeo then muttered shivering somewhat.

"How interesting... PeacockFeathers disguised himself as my ex-boyfriend.", Ookami muttered.

"And PeacockFeathers disguised himself as an old nemesis of ours.", Jean smiled nervously.

Ryoshi then blinked, "Where's Femio? Where's Duck?"

Everyone gasped for a moment.

"So if PeacockFeathers is here... That means... Awww shit!", Ookami then hissed as she went to look for them.

Yuka then hugged Sasami.

"What's wrong, Yuka?"

"I'm just worried for Ginka... He and Ayeka are alone too...", Yuka replied, starting to sob.

* * *

Femio was in the shower. He hugged himself.

"This cursed body... Even when others are drawn to it, my hands hold their approach...", Femio sobbed in the restroom.

Then he saw something move from the other side of the curtain. He stopped the shower, grabbed a towel and then grabbed a bar of soap to use as a throwing weapon. His eyes showed fear and confusion. He then threw open the curtain and hit PeacockFeathers upside the head.

He shivered, as he started to run off.

"Wait! Come back, mon garçon Lolita!", PeacockFeathers started to cry.

Femio was still wearing the towel. He knew not about where else to turn, except to Susan's room.

He went in, and hid behind Susan as she was sound asleep, under the covers.

PeacockFeathers looked in.

"Peh... The only person there is that old hag... Seeing everyone else is grouping together, I see no need to bug them anymore if they're trying to outnumber me... I want my romances to be in private, after all...", PeacockFeathers sighed as he disappeared again for now.

Femio waited a couple more minutes before peeking out from behind Susan. He sighed, but that sigh tickled Susan's neck a little bit.

She woke up, and turned to see Femio behind him only naked.

"What are you doing?", Susan hissed.

Femio just laughed, nervously and still shivering, "Good morning to you too, fair maiden. You see, it's not what you think; A haunting nightmare was haunting me again."

Susan would usually kick Femio out coldly, calling him a freak for sneaking into her bed like that. However, seeing Femio's condition, and how he's trying to fake that he was okay, she just smirked.

"Next time hide in the closet and put some clothes on...", Susan can only say. After all, Lesbian Jesus warned her specifically about PeacockFeathers.

"Very well... If moi's not worthy of your heavenly light...", Femio then sighed as he slowly got off the bed.

Susan just got out of bed, walking out of the room with Femio, but turned to the FanFic Critic's door.

"Hey, Critic... Did you see any new faces today?", Susan asked as she opened the door.

She was reviewing a fan fiction with Ayeka, Ginka, and Duck.

"No, why?", she asked.

Susan then smiled, relieved, "Never mind, then. Everyone is waiting for us for dinner."

These words are true. The group looked up excited to see everyone else. Yuka hugged Ginka as she was worried something bad happened to him.

"No, sugar. FanFic Critic was reading a fan fiction. This time it's surprisingly good!", Ginka smiled.

"Thank God...", Aburatsubo sighed.

"Though... PeacockFeathers is still out there... If anything, I wonder how Lesbian Jesus knew about him before us...", Susan pondered.

* * *

Nigel finished reading the misadventure with Vivi and the couple from (Nigel finally got the spelling and pronunciation right) Kono Danshi Ningyo Hiroimashita. He was surprised it ended sweetly and not as terrible as he thought. However, it also didn't help everyone else around him was whining.

"I wonder what made Lesbian Jesus keep us in like this...", Harley then pouted.

"Think about it, she warned us about the television, but we can watch YouTube videos just fine.", Nigel then pointed out.

"What's wrong with the TV?", Judai asked.

"It's broken.", Harley said, trying to be blunt.

"Couldn't you just get an electrician to fix that?", Toppa asked.

"Look out the window. Do you think there is an electrician within a 5 mile radius?", Harley said in a smart-alec way.

Flapjack did so and was horrified by what he saw. The conditions of the outside worsened. Something red and pumping was now close, absorbing the nutrients that the poor soil was at. It was like a giant leech plaguing the flesh of the earth as it was just drying up slowly.

"Umm... No...", Flapjack gasped in horror.

Asuka and J looked as well. Soon, they felt the Earth shake.

"Good lord!", Sentai Pink gasped, "Take cover, everyone!"

They laid on their stomachs as they felt themselves moving downward.

They flinched as after a few moments after they stopped moving, they opened their eyes. The lights were out. Everyone survived but God only knows how.

Lesbian Jesus returned, "Ah. I see you know where you are now."

"Huh?"

"This is the alternate future where PeacockFeathers did remain a surviving fragment of the world... but due to the request of her family to revive her.", Lesbian Jesus muttered.

"How did this happen?", Harley asked in shock.

"Science. Mad science.", Lesbian Jesus replied.

Doktor Frogg squeaked excited, "I never seen something this dastardly before!"

Sentai Pink hissed, "You better not think about it..."

Doktor Frogg then cringed at the hearing of Sentai Pink tell him this as he was cracking his knuckles.

"There are two parts to PeacockFeathers now. The first is her physical form, which is eating away anything left that is still around in that dare say it is from THIS Planet Earth. The other part has been jumping dimensions. Good news is, I have prevented you guys from encountering that part in this house... The bad news is, ironically it is the more deadly part that you just witnessed. My last resort now is to travel you next door to a friend of mine's. I can extend my barrier there and there you can meet others like you.", Lesbian Jesus then explained.

"Ah... There's more of us?", Nigel asked.

"Yes... 21 people to be exact. They're in the reality where PeacockFeathers is supposed to be dead; or in other words, reality.", Lesbian Jesus muttered.

"Let's go meet them! I think they'll need some justice in case the other form is causing havoc for them!", Sentai Pink muttered proudly.

"Yeah, right... There's probably a chance you're going to hook up with one of those 21 people if they are any males...", Doktor Frogg sneered.

"What was that?", Sentai Pink muttered, glaring darts at Doktor Frogg.

"N-n-nothing! Nothing!", Doktor Frogg shrieked.

Sentai Pink smiled, "Well... Now let's go there! Before anymore horrible crap like this happens!"

"Very well... As you wish...", Lesbian Jesus smiled as she then started to beam them out of the post-apocalyptic alternate reality.

* * *

Duck and Femio sat alone with Aburatsubo and Sae in a room. They were staring at each other intently as Duck raised an arm towards Femio.

"C'mon Femio... Get in character, you can do this...", Sae muttered.

"Adda boy, Femio...", Aburatsubo mustered in a whisper.

Femio's hand was raised but not to slap Duck, but to grab her hand.

"OH NO!", Sae gasped.

Femio then placed the back of Duck's hand towards him.

"Mademoiselle, please... Let me do the wooing...", Femio smiled as he kissed Duck's hand.

"Well... That was interesting...", Aburatsubo muttered, almost confused.

"Qua... Well, Mr. Femio, at least even after that encounter with PeacockFea-", Duck tried to speak.

"Do not dare speak of that monster again!", Femio roared angrily.

"Quaaa!", Duck shrieked.

"Let's talk about you, my sweet angelic beauty to my savage beast.", Femio said, moving closer to Duck.

Sae and Aburatsubo just sat there in awe. Femio was quick to forgive such simple words, but can never forgive OR forget his assault.

"Your words, oh how they sound very erotic right now."

Sae and Aburatsubo turned. It was Lesbian Jesus.

"Who are you?", Sae gasped.

"It seems we've never met before. I am your new neighbor... Maybe more if Aburatsubo doesn't give up Takakura, if you get my drift...", Lesbian Jesus winked at Sae.

Aburatsubo looked confused, as did Sae.

"Are you... hitting on Sawanoguchi?", Aburatsubo asked.

"Oh... I didn't know you wanted to keep your rivals, Mr. Aburatsubo... Good news is, I am not here to relieve you of your Sae problem. I am more here to relieve you of your PeacockFeathers pest infestation...", Lesbian Jesus chuckled.

Femio's senses tingled with excitement and suspicion as he heard that Lesbian Jesus was going to keep PeacockFeathers away.

"And what are the conditions to this relief?", Femio asked.

She grinned, "Here... A fruit you must share with the one that you love the most. You must eat it in order for PeacockFeathers to stay out of your hide."

Femio's heart raced. _Who did he love the most?!_

"I...", Femio felt disturbed. The pitch black apple in Lesbian Jesus' hand illuminated a beautiful blue color.

"I..."

He looked at Sae and Aburatsubo.

**"I..."**

Femio couldn't choose who he loved more.

"I'll eat the fruit with him!", Duck then declared.

Femio looked at Duck.

"A wise choice. I knew I would tempt one of you fine ladies to eat the forbidden fruit."

Femio gasped.

"The forbidden fruit?"

Aburatsubo interrupted, "Hold up! Why is it forbidden?"

Lesbian Jesus smirked, "It forbids PeacockFeathers for looking for the Adam and Eve to rebuild her courage to rape you. Just like how it forbids Adam and Eve to ever eat the fruit at the Garden of Eden ever again... except with more positive benefits..."

"Such as?", Aburatsubo asked.

"Commitment... an automatic love potion... extreme arousal...", Lesbian Jesus smiled.

"So... You're giving Femio and Duck and aphrodisiac that would only keep one creep away?", Aburatsubo hissed, "They're 14! FOURTEEN!"

"The age of consent in Germany for being an adult is 14. So it only would be forbidden if they weren't German."

Femio looked at Duck. Duck blushed as she held the fruit up against her lips.

"Are you ready, Femio?", Duck gulped nervously.

"Yes... soon, I'll...", Femio didn't want to say it. He thought he could never love just one woman. But if it was to keep his rapist at bay, he would have to sacrifice his love for almost everyone else. Duck will be the only one he loves now, "I shall love only you..."

Femio and Duck then took a bite out of the forbidden fruit... and the blue light illuminating around it turned a bright sunset colored pink as they began to chew and chew the fig textured fruit until they swallowed. Lesbian Jesus licked her lips in satisfaction.

"So... Does everyone else get some of this stuff?", Duck smiled, as she kept on eating the black fruit.

"Why yes... Everyone can taste forbidden fruit.", Lesbian Jesus smiled.

"This is great! It tastes like Strawberry Gumdrops!", Duck couldn't help but say that.

Lesbian Jesus shivered at that comment, but knew at least she saved Femio and Duck to being not only rape victims in the future but also prevented them for being a couple whose babies would be farmed to be PeacockFeathers' food in the alternate reality.

"Thank you, madame. How can we ever repay you?", Femio asked.

"There is no need for repayment to me, unless you can tell the others you were touched by Lesbian Jesus.", Lesbian Jesus smiled as she caressed Femio's face for a moment then started to shiver when she realized Femio was male.

She smiled as she turned to a beam of light and drifted off to a new house next door.

Duck looked outside, as did Femio.

"Umm... Mr. Aburatsubo?", Sae asked.

"Let's ask the FanFic Critic about this one...", Aburatsubo shivered.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Okay, another chapter finished late at night. I don't know if I made this lighter or darker. Sure, I tried to add hints on the fact that Lesbian Jesus is making sure the alternate reality doesn't try to destroy the real world by harvesting couples from other dimensions as well as PeacockFeathers trying to disguise as their nightmares to submit them to her will, but at the same time, the whole strawberry gumdrops tasting forbidden fruit and Lesbian Jesus hitting on Sae would probably ruin that.

Anyways, good night, or good morning for any of you European readers.


	10. Chapter 9: SNAKE ABURATSUBO

You Should (Not) Read This Chapter of the Fan Fiction Aloud: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 9

* * *

It has only been a few days. Jean and Nadia were quick to take the offer of protection from PeacockFeathers by eating the fruit that Lesbian Jesus handed them together. Ookami and Ryoshi on the other hand...

"You got to be fucking kidding me!", Ookami roared.

Her golden locks were a hot mess.

"What's wrong? Don't you like Ryoshi?", Lesbian Jesus asked.

Ookami looked at Ryoshi for a moment.

He looked at her with a depressed gleam in his eyes.

"I do but... Why do I have to eat that to keep a rapist at bay of all things?! After all, you may have not been around... but what if PeacockFeathers wants me to be with Ryoshi?", Ookami asked.

Lesbian Jesus chuckled, "He only wants you to be together because you would be the Adam and Eve of a new dystopia if you don't eat the fruit I am giving you.", Lesbian Jesus smiled, "Or would you rather eat the fruit with me?"

Ookami looked at Lesbian Jesus with a cringe on her face.

"R-r-Ryoshi..."

"Yes, Ryoko?", Ryoshi asked now looking up.

"We're going to eat the fruit together... but don't expect any freaky business, you got that?", Ryoko asked.

"Yes, ma'am!", Ryoshi muttered now standing up to eat the black fruit dangling out of Lesbian Jesus' hands.

They crunched into it a few times, same effects as with Femio and Duck, except rather than be a pink color, it was a yellow green color. (They learned it was normal because Jean and Nadia's aura was a muted purple color of sorts).

"Perfect...", Lesbian Jesus smiled, as after the fruit was completely eaten up, Ookami pulled Ryoshi towards her and embraced with him in a kiss.

"Now you better not say they taste of any gumballs, okay?", she then shivered thinking about what Duck told her when she first gave her the forbidden fruit.

"I remember now; you promised to protect me, even from Shiro...", Ookami muttered as she then started to lick Ryoshi's neck.

"Y-y-ye-yes...", Ryoshi muttered, scared but also excited.

"I'll leave you two alone... After all, you do seem to enjoy being together more than I thought...", Lesbian Jesus grinned as she closed the door on them.

She wanted to know who else to give the Forbidden Fruit to. She got the main two 'canon' pairings out of the way. She also got Femio to be stable in a relationship for once, something only Lesbian Jesus to get away with because, well... She's Lesbian Jesus. Then she blinked for a moment and forgot about Sae and Aburatsubo with their relationship with Takeo.

"Never thought about handling a threesome before.", Lesbian Jesus grinned, "Let's see how it turns out when I come over to their house again..."

* * *

"Wow Nigel! I didn't know you can name every single type of tree in this neighborhood just by one leaf!", Flapjack grinned excited.

"Well you can name every single fish just by its scales, right?", Nigel asked.

"Umm..."

"What?"

"I haven't been told what fish is what. Most of the time fish is fish.", Flapjack looked down.

Nigel laughed somewhat.

"What's so funny?"

"I forgot you were raised by a whale of all things."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Oh... Nothing...", Nigel just smiled.

They stopped when they noticed Yuka and Sasami.

"Hi!", Flapjack smiled and waved.

"Hi!", Sasami smiled back, but with Yuka hiding behind her.

A few minutes of awkward silence later and...

"So... You live around these parts?", Nigel looked down blushing.

"Actually, I think I've seen you guys live next door to the Lesbian Jesus lady.", Sasami smiled.

"That's so funny! So what are your names?", Flapjack asked.

"My name's Sasami! This is my friend and possibly in-law, Yuka!", Sasami smiled as she moved out of the way for them to see her. Yuka was red, but she didn't know why.

"Those are some funny names...", Flapjack muttered.

"Well, the name is Uno. Nigel Uno...", Nigel replied.

"And I'm Flapjack. Nice to meet you!", Flapjack smiled.

Yuka tried to speak, but because she was so timid she spoke really fast, "Nicetomeetyou!"

She flinched a little, "I-i-I'm sorry... I'm not used to being around kids in this dimension..."

"Ah... So you're one of the 21 people that Lesbian Jesus has been talking about...", Nigel then announced looking at Yuka.

"She isn't as shy once you get to know her. In fact, her brother is actually more outgoing! He's really nice and even if he acts funny, you'll get to know him better once you be his friend!", Sasami smiled.

"He has a brother... That acts funny?", Flapjack asked. He pictured in his mind Yuka with a clown and the both of them having fun in a circus setting. That thought was interrupted though when she heard Ayeka calling for Sasami.

"Sasami! Who are you talking to?"

"Is that your mother?", Flapjack asked.

"No silly! That's my sister, Ayeka! She's a princess!", Sasami smiled.

"A princess? Say... Since she's a princess, you're one as well, right?", Nigel asked.

"That's right! And she's in love with Yuka's brother!", Sasami giggled.

"Sasami! What are you telling those boys?!", Ayeka huffed, turning red with embarrassment.

"Is something wrong with marrying a funny guy?", Flapjack asked Ayeka.

"N-n-What are you getting at?!", Ayeka blushed. She was surprised Sasami is talking about Ayeka's relationship like this.

"Sasami said Yuka's brother is your fiance.", Nigel then replied.

"Sasami...", Ayeka cried.

Then again, she somehow pictured herself getting out of work as a businesswoman for a prestigious department. A strange fantasy, as Ayeka preferred to be a housewife. However... This fantasy got even stranger.

* * *

_ "Welcome home, Honey! I made you your favorite meal!", Ginka's voice would have chimed as he was wearing an apron._

_ "Thank you, dear...", Ayeka would have smiled as she kissed Ginka on the cheek._

* * *

Ayeka shook her head in that notion.

"Well... Seeing you're spreading gossip on the neighborhood that I'm in love with a Terran, I can probably spread gossip about how you hide pictures of Mr. Femio asleep underneath your pillows."

"But I don't...", Sasami then pouted.

"Exactly.", Ayeka muttered.

"But it's true about you and Mr. Ginka!", Sasami then whined, "You even freaked out about staring at his butt one time to Sae!"

"Why would you stare at a butt?", Flapjack asked.

"T-th-That's not the point! I am not engaged with Ginka and you should know!", Ayeka huffed.

She didn't hate Ginka. In fact she was more comfortable with him now that Sae helped her cope with her Terran Romance problem. However, being engaged means bringing Ginka through S&M, which is something that she is trying to restrain herself from so she wouldn't be like Chika. She didn't want to picture her and Ginka in those situations.

"Well, you're in love with him, right?", Sasami asked.

She then nodded, "But I haven't proposed to him and I don't plan on it. You know how Jurai works, Sasami."

"Oh...", the children then looked.

"So you guys are just boyfriend and girlfriend, though?", Nigel asked.

Ayeka then blinked, "Well... You can say that..."

Lesbian Jesus noticed Ayeka's behavior from out the window and realized Ayeka and Ginka, although a crack pairing, can still be a potential Adam and Eve for PeacockFeathers. She looked back at her tree... Three or four black fruit emitting blue light left.

"I have to get them together, fast...", Lesbian Jesus shivered, "But first, I have to deal with the threesome...", she grinned as she plucked a fruit from the tree, leaves turning green after the fruit was plucked. Before they looked like they were almost dead.

* * *

Takeo was reading Evangelion Date Rape as research for any signs of how a rapist would think. Shinji, out of character or not, did not excuse his behavior, taking advantage of a poor woman. Takeo felt dirty reading it... horrible in fact because he was reading it in front of an enraged FanFic Critic.

"Just to let you know, Takeo... The female anatomy does not do that!", she would hiss occasionally.

The reason why Takeo infuriated her at the moment was because he wanted to learn more about how PeacockFeathers was thinking and it somehow lead to him reading the terrible fan fiction, with his nose occasionally bleeding. Now wasn't the time to think on the matter.

Takeo couldn't read any further and he just ran off crying.

"FORGIVE ME CRITIC!", Takeo sobbed.

"Well, glad his patience was tested...", she huffed.

Takeo then went into the living room where Sae and Aburatsubo were sitting watching Drawn Together. They both hate the show to no end, but there was nothing better on, not even My Little Pony.

"Takeo... What happened?", Aburatsubo asked.

Takeo shook his head, "Nothing, Aburatsubo..."

"What was the fan fiction called...", Aburatsubo sighed, noticing Takeo's red face shedding tears and nose bleeding a garnet color.

"Eva... Evange... Evangelio... Forget it! All I know is that there was rape in there and it was misogynistic!", Takeo then huffed.

The FanFic Critic walked behind him, "See? Isn't this why you don't ask to research how rapists work? I would have shown you 'Call Me Sir' but that isn't even a good enough depiction on RAPE victims!"

Takeo could only stare downward.

"Sawanoguchi... Can you hear me out on this?", Takeo asked.

"Y-yes...", Sae asked.

"Just to let you know... Whatever I've read today, I would never do such a thing to you..."

Sae didn't know where Takeo was getting at, but of course, she took his word for it. Aburatsubo huffed as Takeo was only concerned for telling Sae these things. He turned off the TV and walked off.

"Aburatsubo?", Sae asked as she saw him walk away.

* * *

Aburatsubo sat outside sighing.

Then he saw the fruit from before that Lesbian Jesus had dangling in her hands plop right next to him. He didn't even think it was possible but he thought maybe it was telling him something.

Lesbian Jesus' words whisper to him as he was slowly being entranced as he picked up the fruit.

"Eat the fruit with Sae and Takeo... You may not like it personally, but it's not gay if it's in a three way, right? Takeo will understand...", Lesbian Jesus grinned, as she fully hypnotized him. She put on a golden necklace with a snake coiling around a cross as a means of showing that he's under her control for now.

"Right...", Aburatsubo muttered in a monotone voice.

"Now... Go get 'em, tiger...", Lesbian Jesus grinned as he stood up and moved, but waited for the right moment to prowl.

* * *

Sae was the first to notice Aburatsubo.

"Hey! Mr. Aburatsubo? Takakura was wondering where you went! Maybe we can..."

Aburatsubo's eyes looked different, almost reptilian in a way. This was all due to Lesbian Jesus' hypnosis though.

"Ah... Sawanoguchi... You have some Doritos on your face...", Aburatsubo pointed out.

"Oh! I'm sorry... Guess I was pigging out h-"

Aburatsubo licked the Dorito crumbs off Sae's face.

Sae shook her head. Aburatsubo was acting off today. Usually he would just walk off after stating something as obvious. She saw Takeo's face though as it turned red for some reason. Then she noticed the golden necklace he was wearing. Maybe the necklace was cursed?

"Takakura! Wait! It's not what it looks like! He was just cleaning my face!", Sae yelped. She didn't know why she screamed that.

Takeo then noticed Aburatsubo was holding the fruit behind his back.

"Umm... Aburatsubo? Are you thinking about what I think you're thinking?", Takeo huffed.

His mind went blank as he started to fantasize Aburatsubo and Sae making out after eating the forbidden fruit. The temptation was so bad that he wanted to eat a few morsels so that Sae can still like him. After all, it would make sense he had his two cents on the relationship.

"Whatever do you mean? I just want someone to eat the fruit with... My, it's a little too much for two people to eat it alone... Maybe we have Sawanoguchi have some as well?", Aburatsubo then pointed out.

Takeo blinked. Was Aburatsubo finally inviting Sawanoguchi into his flirtations as well?

"Aburatsubo?"

"C'mon, Takeo... You never leave baby in corner?", Aburatsubo smirked as he dangled the fruit in front of the both of them.

"Oh boy...", Takeo muttered as Aburatsubo embraced Sae's face.

"FINE! We'll eat the fruit! Just... Stop doing that to Sawanoguchi!"

"There is a condition though, Takeo...", Aburatsubo muttered.

"What is it? This isn't funny Aburatsubo..."

"You call us by our first names from now on...", Aburatsubo grinned.

"Okay... Sae... Ayanojo... Are you ready for this?", Takeo muttered.

Sae nodded nervously and without much confidence while Aburatsubo vehemently said 'Yes'.

Soon, they began to eat, the fruit now emitting warm autumn colors as if portraying the fall leaves perfectly. Aburatsubo quickly snapped out of his hypnosis from Lesbian Jesus as he opened his eyes in shock to what he was seeing.

"We did it Ayanojo! We protected ourselves from PeacockFeathers!", Takeo then smirked.

"Huh? Takeo...", Aburatsubo blushed.

"Well, that explains the whole snake necklace you've got there...", Takeo then noticed. Aburatsubo looked down.

"SAWANOGUCHI...", Aburatsubo hissed irritated.

"But I didn't put that on you, I swear!"

Lesbian Jesus watched from outside and just started to laugh.

"Well that explains it...", Takeo then noticed her finally.

"Well, seeing you kind of put this on us to be together in a... love triangle of sorts...", Sae blushed.

"I did WHAT?!", Aburatsubo then gasped... Though unlike before, he couldn't hate Sae for any of this.

"I'm sorry... You didn't know?", Sae asked in worry.

"Well, now there's a less likely chance that PeacockFeathers would hunt us down when we're alone. Lesbian Jesus is sure helping us with those barriers, now isn't she?", Takeo then smiled.

"Takeo... Tell me the truth... Are we really in some weird love triangle?!", Aburatsubo asked.

Takeo then replied, "Well, I thought it was obvious by how you said those words to us earlier..."

Aburatsubo looked down. He really wanted to be just with Takeo, and Takeo alone. But now he wasn't so sure anymore. Sure Takeo is happy with Sae, but now the both of them tasted the forbidden fruit together and now he didn't know who he loved anymore... or who he was...

"Hmm... I wonder what would happen if more than three people eat the forbidden fruit...", Lesbian Jesus pondered.

Aburatsubo turned to see Lesbian Jesus.

"You!", he growled.

"Yes. It is I. You rang?", Lesbian Jesus asked almost in an innocent tone.

"Why didn't you let Takeo choose between who he liked more?!", Aburatsubo asked.

"I find this more interesting... Sure, the price is that I couldn't steal Sae away from you two, but the good news is, Takeo is happy... and you're happy... because you have Takeo and Takeo has Sae.", Lesbian Jesus smiled.

"This is madness...", Aburatsubo muttered, "Who else are you going to give the forbidden fruit?!"

"Take a guess...", Lesbian Jesus muttered as she then noticed Seyfried walking out of Susan's room with Alcohol, Alistar, Nadjaki, and Flappy following him like ducklings following their mother... except the larger of the ducklings were in love with their mother duckling, and if their mother was a he.

"Well, good luck. I don't think Seyfried's going to take the bait...", Aburatsubo smirked.

"We'll see about that...", Lesbian Jesus chuckled.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note:** It's one of those nights again. This time it is 5:30 in the morning. *dies* Good news? There is no school. Bad news? It's because it is snowing.

So, basically the Adam and Eve / PeacockFeathers part 1 Arc is going to end soon. So... Should I add the first consensual romance scene in the series? Or will it be no different than a lot of the bad FanFic Critic fanfictions that get FanFic Critic shipped with. Either way... I'll need some sleep. Sorry everyone! DX


	11. Chapter 10: Quo Vadis! No Not That

There's One Way, There's a Two Way, and then There's a Five Way: The FanFic Critic's Apprentices Chapter 10

* * *

Aburatsubo was staring Seyfried down as he was surfing channels on the television next to Nadia.

"May I help you?", Seyfried then asked as he just looked at the maroon-haired magician.

"Well... Did you encounter a beardless Jesus?", Aburatsubo asked.

"Who's Jesus?", Seyfried asked back.

Aburatsubo felt a little bit awkward after Seyfried asked him this.

"Well... He's a... Umm... someone...", Aburatsubo tried to think about it. Even when he wasn't Christian, Aburatsubo can recognize Jesus perfectly well.

"He's an important religious figure here in this universe.", Nadia then told Seyfried.

"I see.", Seyfried then muttered, "So you're asking if I've seen a beardless version of a deity?"

"Well... He's not a deity per se...", Nadia then muttered.

Aburatsubo left. Why did he open his big mouth.

"So he's not a God.", Seyfried muttered.

"He's more like... the son of God.", Nadia then smiled. She couldn't believe she was the one explaining Christianity to Seyfried of all people. Then again, she knew more about the subject than Aburatsubo did.

* * *

Ayeka then looked at the black fruit sitting on the FanFic Critic's computer. Originally she was going to do some Terran research on how Terran newlyweds were supposed to act around their spouses. She thought maybe if she can't do things her way, she'll have to learn how to do things Ginka's way. Though... There was a problem. She didn't know who was going to wear the dress.

Naturally Ayeka would be the one wearing the dress (seeing she's female) and Ginka would wear the tuxedo (seeing he's male). But would that really make Ginka happy? Then she found an interesting image... A lesbian couple both wearing dresses.

"I see... So Terrans can swing anyway they want...", Ayeka blushed. Then she thought maybe Ginka would have been happier with a man. After all, Ginka wouldn't complain if he was the only one in a pretty dress.

"Hey Ayeka! What are you doing?", Ginka then asked.

Ayeka shrieked in surprise to see him looking over her shoulder.

"Ginka! It's not what you think! I..."

"Are you looking up wedding dresses already? So who's the lucky bachelor!", Ginka then asked, letting out a teasing tone.

"Ginka..."

"C'mon! I wanna know!", Ginka whined as he looked at Ayeka with such bright doe-like eyes. Ayeka gulped.

"It's... you..."

Ginka then stood silent for a moment.

Ayeka cleaned her throat a little bit and then knelt on her right knee looking up at Ginka, taking the forbidden fruit from off the FanFic Critic's chair, switching it then with a Ring Pop she found in Susan's room (God knows how she had it...)

"Ginka Midarezaki... I know it's against my [father's will] planet's customs to marry a Terran. However... Ever since I met you [even if you were in drag], I can't seem to escape this feeling that I should ask you this..."

Ginka didn't know what to say. He looked down; he remembered the first love he ever had died because of his biological father's mob. But seeing Ouka was his father now, the only one that would be against this would be Chika. But Chika wasn't around. He covered his mouth as he started to cry.

"Will you marry me?", Ayeka then asked, her pink eyes looking up to him holding the Ring Pop up like an engagement ring.

Ginka remained speechless.

Ayeka then sighed, "This was the only thing resembling a ring that I found. If you want, I can probably buy you an-"

"Yes! Yes, I will!", Ginka then declared, his eyes tearing up as he hugged Ayeka.

Susan walked in.

"God damn this couple...", Susan hissed.

Then she noticed the fruit in Ayeka's hands.

"...Well, if you're going to eat that together, then..."

Ginka finally noticed the fruit in Ayeka's hands.

"Ayeka..."

"Yes..."

"We're going to taste... forbidden fruit before marriage?"

Ayeka then noticed that Ginka noticed the fruit.

"Well, if that's what it is, then I can just toss it out! It's not what you think, I swe-"

"It'll be fine... We'll be protecting ourselves from PeacockFeathers after all...", Ginka smiled.

Ayeka saw Ginka taking the first bite, a proposal that they take turns eating it. She then opened her mouth and dug her teeth into the black fruit's skin.

"Ginka's going to be the next fruit she eats...", Susan huffed as she closed the door on them.

* * *

Seyfried finally noticed Lesbian Jesus as she cut open what looked like a very dark red apple. Seyfried didn't know why it was illuminating a blue color, so was a bit cautious at first. She made them into six pieces.

"Bring your Guild mates and try this fruit out!", Lesbian Jesus smiled as if asking Seyfried to sample the forbidden fruit.

"What is that?", Seyfried gasped in interest, poking at the blush pink meat from within the forbidden fruit, "How do I not know it's dangerous?!"

"That's for you to find out...", Lesbian Jesus smirked.

Seyfried then looked at her nervously.

"Are you... sure it's safe to eat?", Seyfried asked.

"Would Lesbian Jesus ever lie to you?"

"Lesbian... Jesus?", Seyfried then gasped.

"Ah... I see you haven't heard of me...", Lesbian Jesus then muttered, "I'm also guessing you're male, right?"

Seyfried nodded.

"Bring your Guild mates or else there is no saving for you..."

"HOLD ON! What are you talking about?!"

"You can't eat the Forbidden Fruit by yourself you know... Otherwise, you'd love yourself so much that you'll be aroused by even the simplest of things...", Lesbian Jesus grinned.

"I wonder what you mean by that...", Seyfried muttered. Seyfried wasn't the type to be easily persuaded to do something as simple as eating new food. In fact, Seyfried was a little xenophobic when it came to those matters. However, he reluctantly did as Lesbian Jesus told him.

"If only he were a she... then my powers would be a lot easier. Especially since unlike Aburatsubo he shows no signs of sexual preference...", Lesbian Jesus sighed.

Seyfried opened the door to Susan's room to see Alcohol, Nadjaki, and Alistar reading an OlympiaXKujura fan fiction on a particular website.

"Ladies... Alcohol... I have a request for you...", Seyfried explained.

Alcohol and Nadjaki first jumped up, pouncing on him like a big dog greeting their master.

"About time ya asked us to do somethin' for ya, m'Lord!", Alcohol grinned.

"So... What does King request from us?", Nadjaki asked, her breasts rubbing on Seyfried's plated armor.

"Well, bring Flappy and Puera as well. Someone wants us to try a strange fruit of sorts.", Seyfried replied.

Flappy at first was a questioning on the subject as Seyfried was, but at least agreed to do so. Puera however backed out.

"No way man! Fuck it! I'm not eating an aphrodisiac!"

Seyfried's mind went blank when Puera said that as he left. The black haired monk told something new about the subject.

"Seyfried? What's an aphrodisiac?", Flappy asked.

"You'll learn later...", Seyfried gulped. He wasn't sure what he was getting himself into. In fact, no one did.

* * *

Ayeka's eyes opened. She looked down. She didn't know what just happened. However, after eating the forbidden fruit, she was now only in her one piece underwear, next to a fully nude Ginka. She gasped for a moment.

"Did I...", Ayeka muttered, "No... That can't be right! THAT has to come after marriage, right?!"

Ginka's eyes started to open. Ginka had to get the sand out of them though as he rubbed the skin that surrounded them.

"Ayeka... You're so loud when you wake up..."

"Oh dear...", Ayeka gulped as the FanFic Critic walked in on them.

"AGH! GOD! WHOA NELLY! What just happened?!", the FanFic Critic asked, covering her eyes.

"I... Think we made a bit of a mess...", Ayeka muttered, face turning red.

"So... You basically did it... in MY ROOM?!", the FanFic Critic hissed, now angry.

"Well, we had this fruit and..."

The FanFic Critic pounced on Ayeka, as if trying to claw her eyes out of their sockets.

"WAIT! FanFic Critic! She's telling the truth!", Ginka cried, trying to pull the dirty blonde haired woman off Ayeka.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! I AM NEVER GOING TO LOOK AT THIS ROOM THE SAME WAY AGAIN, AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU, AYEKA, MADE LOVE TO A TRANSVESTITE MASOCHIST IN THE WRONG CRITIC'S ROOM!", The FanFic Critic hissed.

"Don't you even dare act upon those words, Critic...", Susan then replied, walking in on the FanFic Critic hissed.

"Susan?"

"Look... They did it after eating aphrodisiac fruit that would protect them from Femio's rapist. Killing them would be only doing people that hate Ayeka and are homophobic a favor. You don't want to pan to the homophobes just yet, do you?"

"How would you know?", the FanFic Critic asked.

"Well... I know you better than you would even think...", Susan replied.

She looked down on the scared violet haired girl.

"Next time you decide to have a rendezvous, Ayeka... Do it where neither of us would walk in on."

Ayeka nodded, looking for the robe she usually wears and covering her body as she pulled a quiet Ginka into the bathroom for the both of them to resume getting dressed. Ginka just glared at the FanFic Critic as Ayeka closed the door.

* * *

Seyfried and Flappy glanced at the fruit nervously as Alistar, Alcohol, and Nadjaki started to eat a slice each. There were six total pieces of the fruit sliced for convenience. But since Puera is gone, who would have the last slice?

Flappy took only one piece, only chuckling slightly as he can only think he was eating strawberry flavored candy. Seyfried saw the two remaining pieces.

"If you want, I'll solve your problem by eating a slice...", Lesbian Jesus muttered, disappointed that Puera left. However, seeing Alistar and Nadjaki were beautiful girls, she mused the thought that if she did eat the fruit, they would be after her as well.

"Well... Alright...", Seyfried muttered.

"On second thought... Maybe not...", Lesbian Jesus shook her head. That would mean sharing between the two girls.

"Well... Alright... Guess I'll eat it instead.", Seyfried muttered as he started to nibble on his second slice. He didn't know why. But all his emotions were surprisingly aroused, and he couldn't put it why. He thought maybe eating another slice would explain it more, but as he did so, he started to look at the four Guildmates in a whole different way.

"Are you okay, m'Lord?", Alcohol asked. Somehow Seyfried's sense of touch was heightened as somehow Alcohol's hand touching his shoulder made him turn red for some reason.

"D-d-do-Don't mind me!", Seyfried muttered. He was drunk with some sort of strange feeling.

He turned to Lesbian Jesus, "What have you done to me?"

"I saved you. You're not as pious as I thought you were.", Lesbian Jesus chuckled as Seyfried gasped as Alcohol touched his face next.

"Hey... You want us to bring you to a bed?", Alcohol asked.

Seyfried hugged Alcohol.

"Why do these things happen to me?!", Seyfried sobbed.

"What things?", Flappy asked curiously.

That's when Lesbian Jesus thought about how Jacob had four wives, each baring the namesake of the tribes of Israel. Maybe Seyfried is a founder of his own kingdom's rebirth. She shook her head at that notion; She thought she was supposed to protect Adams and Eves... not polygamous relationships with people of different genders.

"I don't know... but whenever something strange happens to me, it's always due to a gut notion I have...", Seyfried replied.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay, so I didn't show anyone ANY sex scenes. In fact, I planned on Ayeka and Ginka to have one but then I thought about how tacky it would be, especially for the FanFic Critic. Instead, it's sort of implied that they did it, so I'll leave it to the imagination on what happened.


	12. Chapter 11: NOT SINDRAGON!

The Return of a Bestial Mindwarp: The FanFic Critics Chapter 11

* * *

A few days have passed. Snow started to trickle down, making the couples stick in twos to warm each other up.

Then there was a strange breathing noise coming from behind the FanFic Critic's door.

"Damn it!", the FanFic Critic sighed, "I moved two or three times just to get that freak of nature out of my life!"

She opened the door. A strange demonic aura filled the room. Teika got surprisingly aggressive, as did Seyfried. Yuka and Sasami hid behind them surprisingly frightened. The rest stood silent wondering who she was referring to.

"CRITIC..."

The FanFic Critic's eyes widened.

"..."

"CRITIC, PLZ REED MAI FANFICTION AGAIIIIIN..."

"That can't be right at all...", the FanFic Critic huffed, taking out her razor.

"Huh?!"

"So you're trying to lash out at me for doing this to your favorite anime characters that I didn't even do?! My God, what is wrong with you?", she huffed then punching the strange hooded person down.

She glitched into PeacockFeathers.

"No... FanFic Critic... Wait...", the FanFic Critic heard PeacockFeathers plea.

"Bug me elsewhere...", she huffed as she slit PeacockFeather's neck open.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", the cross dressing man cried, soon transforming into a normal dark brunette girl before dying right then and there.

"Oh God...", Susan gasped.

"No... Thank you... You put me out of my misery... to help feed my selfish desires...", the brunette girl tried to say, but it got messed up and soon she died.

Femio looked down coldly at the now dead girl, but still depressed because the girl had potential.

"So this is the real PeacockFeathers. A potentially good writer who lost it all to cancer. In an alternate world she was saved, but consequences were that she grew selfish and needy and soon sucked up the whole world with only her heart. She loved everything that was beautiful. Her favorite bird was the peacock and she loved to write romantic stories about homosexuals. In fact, she herself always wanted to be one. So her body split in two, turning into who she wanted to be and who she really was, a heart pumping for more food.", LesbianJesus noted.

The FanFic Critic turned.

"Although now nobody can return into their fan fictions even if they have the abilities... because then they would lose their memory of even the beginning of their lives. They would lose everything if they did...", Lesbian Jesus explained.

"So... You're the one who brought us here in real life!", Ayeka noted.

"Looks like it wasn't interplanar magic like we thought, huh, Takeo?", Aburatsubo sighed disappointed.

"But how would that explain us coming back?!", Takeo asked.

Lesbian Jesus chuckled, "It was Interplanar Magic. I just intercepted it and took you somewhere else. If not for me, you would have been fed to the PeacockFeathers in the alternate reality mentioned. I am sorry if this was anti-climactic for you to kill her so easily. The good news is, I atoned your sins. After all, it would be sad if no one else could."

Then the corpse of PeacockFeathers disappeared, as did LesbianJesus did back next door.

"Wow... What an eventful morning...", Duck muttered.

* * *

Aburatsubo finally noticed an old video the FanFic Critic made. It was actually more like a trilogy of short films relating to a certain user... 'sindragon' was his name.

"Sindragon? Well that doesn't sound too bad. A generic username yes, but maybe he has some potential, like the former writer, PeacockFeathers... or maybe he has an interesting story to be read on like WereDragon EX's stories.", Aburatsubo muttered.

Sae walked in.

"What are you looking up?"

"Sindragon..."

"Ah... Well, let me watch this with you. I think it would be a fun bonding experience.", Sae smiled.

Aburatsubo smiled.

Then the first few minutes later and Aburatsubo and Sae's eyes were in shock.

"Lions..."

"I don't think Teika would like this..."

Teika walked in.

"What are you..."

He stood silent in awe with Aburatsubo and Sae as they heard the impossible sex story of a lion named Nala and a [Gary-Stu] human named Stuart being read to them by the FanFic Critic. Then, when she continued on further, Teika got so infuriated, he pounced on the computer monitor and started to maul it to bits with his claws.

"I... don't want to think on that user again...", Aburatsubo shivered.

"Poor Teika. I guess he didn't take that well...", Sae shuddered with fear.

"IT IS IMPROPER FOR A BEAST TO DO ANY OF THIS ACTIVITY WITH A HUMAN BEING! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MISTER HANDS?!"

"Mister what?", Sae asked.

Then Teika sighed, trying to fix the computer monitor back to normal as he showed a dramatic reading of 'Sly becomes Mr. Hands'. Sae and Aburatsubo gasped in awe of the horrors of what's happening. They knew it was 'furry' but it was still pretty bad. Aburatsubo almost went to go puke.

"I think we just read one video of this. I bet you there would be more to come eventually.", Sae shivered.

"A bonding experience for humans is enduring painful events together?", Teika asked Sae.

"I guess so. It makes you feel better you're not the only one.", Sae smiled.

"I see...", Teika mumbled.

Sae shivered, as Aburatsubo walked back in.

"We can watch another one of these cat fetishist's fan fiction being read by the Critic...", Aburatsubo muttered.

Teika groaned, "I hope you don't have a cat fetish either, Aburatsubo."

"If I did, then I wouldn't be here, now would I?", Aburatsubo huffed, "Besides. I'm a dog person."

"Then you're in for a treat.", Teika snickered as cannibalism showed up in the Simba vs. Sin: For the Love of Nala.

"OH MY GOOOD!", Sae and Aburatsubo freaked out. For Teika, they were like apes reacting to fire. For them though, they were reacting like any other person. Aburatsubo did not like hearing the FanFic Critic even say these things.

"No! Cannibalism should NOT happen like that!", Aburatsubo hissed.

"Actually, some bachelor lions would eat the cubs of other prides after a means of trying to test a cub's strength.", Teika muttered, "Disturbing I know, but seeing I'm not one of those lions, I think it would make sense."

Aburatsubo and Sae looked at him awkwardly as they resumed to the next video, "Sister Heat". Teika wasn't pleased either. They didn't even know how it would anatomically work, seeing humans are generally smaller than lions. Also seeing that lions are predatory and humans in their primal forms are just omnivores that tend to eat fruit and small creatures. Basically humans are slow food for lions generally. If not for Teika's gentile nature, Teika would treat everyone else as a buffet.

Sindragon doesn't seem to notice this notion, and it was because of this that Teika and the two magic users started to cringe each paragraph... no each single word that the FanFic Critic and the Honest Reviewer were spewing out of their mouth.

"I am tempted to say that I would try to return to my original universe just to get the fact this guy exists off of my memory...", Aburatsubo muttered, eyes starting to cringe.

"No! Aburatsubo!", Sae sobbed.

"Okay... I won't... Sometimes it's better to know these things than to be ignorant of the fact... that people want to make love to animals.", Aburatsubo groaned.

"How would that even work anyway?", Sae asked.

"Let's read the final one. Ho-Oh Chosen One.", Teika muttered.

They nodded and gulped gently as they prayed Sindragon was in love with a human for once. Or at least something humanoid. They were disappointed though, as instead they looked up Suicune and realized the genderless legendary was going to have sex with another [Gary Stu] human also named Stuart.

"No... Just... NO!", Aburatsubo hissed.

"My eyes...", Teika hissed, "This species does nothing!"

"So... Do we tell the FanFic Critic about our research on this guy?", Sae asked.

"You don't need to; I've watched it all."

Sae, Aburatsubo and Teika turned to see the FanFic Critic. She looked sorrowful for some reason. Sae and Aburatsubo looked down.

"We're sorry, Critic...", Sae muttered.

"None taken. I'm just surprised you would look 'sindragon' up.", the FanFic Critic muttered.

"Me too...", Aburatsubo looked down ashamed.

* * *

Lesbian Jesus gasped for a moment.

"What's wrong?", Flapjack asked.

"Yeah... you were calm a minute ago...", Burgh observed.

"I forgot one important thing. Flapjack, remember when I explained there are two parts to PeacockFeathers in that alternate reality?", Lesbian Jesus asked.

"Yeah, what about it?", Flapjack muttered, shuddering over this fact.

"The FanFic Critic killed the part that was harvesting food for it's other half. But it was also the one that was protecting other realities from that same half. You know it's the giant heart, right, Flapjack?"

Flapjack nodded now scared.

"I'll use all my power to protect the fandoms of everyone in this universe as of now as well as the fandoms the FanFic Critic is currently participating in. I'll also protect this reality as well as try to protect other fandoms. It was smart to warn the FanFic Critic that the characters should never return to their fan fictions."

"So... They can never return?", Harley muttered sad.

"Yes... Losing a home is horrifying. I am glad that I only told them the fraction of what would happen to them there...", Lesbian Jesus sighed.

"I see... Ignorance is bliss. Thank God for that...", Nigel sighed.

"Now, my powers aren't very strong enough to do all these things alone. Can you help me?", Lesbian Jesus muttered.

"Sure. Let me get the others.", Burgh nodded.

A few minutes later, Burgh brought in Sentai Pink, Doktor Frogg, Cilan, Cress, Chili, Judai, Asuka, Sho, Jim, Toppa, J, and Iris.

"Shall I bring the neighbors as well?", Flapjack asked.

"No. This should be enough...", Lesbian Jesus smiled.

Soon she ordered, no asked them to pray.

"Let us pray...", Lesbian Jesus smiled.

* * *

A few minutes of silent prayer and already strange things occured. Lesbian Jesus's light was a light gold color, engulfing the world in a beautiful light that made the clouds dance like in a thunderstorm at night. The snow it emitted now was really hail of gold and white pearls. Normal human beings weren't affected by this hail, but dogs and cats started to dance, yell, and even shed actual tears around scared of this occurrence.

Teika and the FanFic Critic's cats were no different. Teika kept on asking Susan and the FanFic Critic if this was normal. The FanFic Critic and Susan both looked out the window.

"For it to hail? I guess so...", the FanFic Critic responded.

"Don't worry about it, Teika... Hail happens.", Susan said in a deadpan way.

Teika went to ask Seyfried this same question.

"Golden pearls... If anyone else is seeing this, I'd be very surprised they haven't picked them up and tried to make them into a collection to sell to vendors in this universe. You're saying the FanFic Critic and Susan don't seem to notice these things?", Seyfried asked, looking outside, eyes widened.

"I see... But why would it hail that I wonder?", Teika muttered.

"Maybe it was a miracle from God.", Seyfried smiled.

"If you mention anything about aliens coming down from Earth, I will maul you where you are sitting.", Teika groaned.

"What about them?", Seyfried asked puzzled.

"Oh nothing... Just something I've dealt with in my experience.", Teika frowned.

"You're a strange lion...", Seyfried chuckled.

"And you're a strange man.", Teika growled.

"Come now. It's nice to have a smile even if no one else would understand.", Seyfried smirked.

"I guess you're right.", Teika muttered, jumping on Seyfried's bed almost like a big dog would.

"Let's just watch this experience.", Seyfried smiled.

"Good idea, I guess.", Teika muttered his entire body covering Seyfried like a mattress.

Seyfried didn't show much pain, but he had a feeling of discomfort in his expression as the lion's torso laid on his legs. Otherwise, he was still smiling, his eyes looking out the window to see the strange spectacle of a hailstorm with the large beast.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Author's Note:** This might be one of those strange occurences where I'll take a break from this story. I've done that with 'What Part of 'This is YuGiOh! Town' Do They Not Understand! and it's been pretty good so far. It's just that I had this idea for a 'What If Scenario' for a Nadia: the Secret of Blue Water fan fiction. The story in question? Well, remember in Chapter 4 where I referenced Nadia having a brother? Think the series but if he was there in the first episode. That's the only hint on what the full story is going to be like.


End file.
